1st weekend

Riane and I had a wild day on Friday.
Here is a small look:

 This is beautiful Riane in a rickshaw talking to Sumana ("Sumama") on the phone about our (first!) terrible driver.

 

We took some snacks... it is unfortunate but true: India does not have double stuf oreos.

This is called the terrifying, limited view of the rickshaw backseat.

I stopped taking pictures because our rickshaw driver started yelling at us because we wouldn't give him the amount of rupees he was demanding, even though the meter told us a completely different, and much less price amount.

Things began to get hectic so pictures took a backseat.

We ended up stranded at a really neat bookstore, where we spent 2 hours in the regional writers section and receiving special attention, like stools to sit on and complimentary refreshments.

We then caught another horrible rickshaw - we said University of Hyderabad, Central Campus. He thought we said Hyderabad Central. And we ended up on the entire other end of the city.

He told us we had to get off because he didn't know where he was going.

As we were attempting to find another driver in the middle of an incredibly busy main road, a child approached me, so I gave it my Aliva crackers. Then a mother with a baby in her arms approached me and I gave her 25 rupees. After the grasping and motioning, I yanked away and we drove away in our new rickshaw.

He stopped a few times - he didn't know where the school was either! The campus is 2,300 acres... That is huge. How nobody knows where a humongous school is located was beyond the two of us.

But he was very nice.

He took us all the way into campus, right to our front door.

We then saw him the next at the train station, but we didn't need him. We had just discovered that while it takes 160 (approx. $3) rupees by rickshaw from Hyderabad Central to campus, it only takes 3!!! rupees by the city train. It took about 10 years longer to get anywhere but...

Here is a glimpse:

This is 3 of us in the very back of a rickshaw on the way to the train station. All that stood between us and the hard pavement was that little door you can see. Life in India is exhilarating. And awkward.

People seriously run off the road staring at 3 white kids packed in the back of a rickshaw.

It sucks knowing that your existence in a foreign country could cause death by curiosity.

The train!!!! Our first train ride! So excited - so very Darjeeling Limited!

 This is one of the signs they use at the train station to tell you to not carry things that can easily ignite. One of many horrifying and animated pictures. Strangely enough, I didn't get a picture of any of them, the trashcans are in the form of penguins.

Which, I think, are probably animals that are least likely to be in India.

This is excited train riding Riane.

Hiiii Ranjani!!

Tracks that lead all over the world.

So, then we got hungry a few times.

This is us at Domino's and all of its delicious bland cheesy-ness.

7 people, 2 large pizzas and an order a breadsticks. Gone.

I look confused here, yes? 

The next day consisted of....

A puppet show!

The Nari Night Cup Cricket Tournament on campus - people are wild for this sport. Consists of hitting the ball if you want and running if you want. Riveting.

Sleepiness.

Over the weekend....
We also saw a movie, but they took my batteries out and kept them because apparently batteries can be rigged to be explosives. We saw 3 Idiots, an extreme 3 hour Bollywood movie completely in Hindi with super super extremes - the music numbers always led to a suicide induced by pressure from higher education. There were babies watching this theater. This movie will never fly in the US.
And we took an extremely fast (we chose the speedboat option for some reason...) trip to a Buddha statue in the middle of a lake where they also took my batteries from me again.
I don't know how to word so many "also's" but we also got to go to Birla Temple and drink holy water. I couldn't take pics there either because they took my batteries. I didn't know until I got to India that I am clearly the most obvious type of terrorist.

That in itself is an interesting thing... because of the disruption by the possibly formed Telangana, everything is in a state of constant fear and lock down. So, entering anywhere = getting felt up behind a curtain (I might be a terrorist, but because I am a woman, they will find it in a respectful manner.)


Overall, a great first weekend.


Also, just like I write about other people, someone wrote something about me.
This is from my new friend Nathan's facebook blog. 
I find that we get along quite nicely: 

India 4

So, after Yoga was cancelled, I finally went on a cycle tour with a few other students (including my roommate) around the campus, which seemed helpful. Among others, I met Riane, who is a female journalism major that goes to school in Iowa. Toward the end of the trip (on the way to mushroom rock), Riane's roommate, Allyn (who hangs out with my roommate a lot), asks me, "Are you shy?" Now you have to understand, she's the kind of ... hyper ... girl that will arbitrarily say 'hi' to me without any reason. Therefore, I respond, "More shy than you. Is that a good enough answer?" She says, "More shy than most people?" I go on to say what I think of her - something about how she seems to be hyper - and I think she takes offense, so I rephrase my evaluation of her. "You like to have fun. You ... like to be crazy, energetic..." She agrees, "Yeah, some of the time. Some of the time I'm not so much. I can be down." Without hesitation I laugh, "So you're manic depressive." "Yeah, and maybe a little bipolar," she says in a straight tone. For the life of me I couldn't tell if she was joking or serious. I didn't know how to take her, as a whole. I told her that I couldn't tell if she was just being crazy or if she was being very honest. She asks me, "Why can't it be both? So how about you?" "What do you mean?" I say as she caught me off guard. In that same straight tone of hers that has started to bother me (because I can't read her) she says something like, "What are your problems?" I laugh and skeptically retort, "What? You want a detailed history of my psychological profile?" Again, in that same blasted voice, she says, "Yeah." I thought that she shouldn't be asking me these questions. No. No one not anyone acts like that to me. Not anyone puts me in that kind of position. I try to explain this to her later.

At this point, Riane has decided to linger behind in the group of cycles because "Your conversation is interesting to listen to. It's... so.. awkward." At this point, I blame Allyn for the awkwardness. Riane says that Allyn is making me feel so awkward, but I protest and try to explain that very typically I am the one who makes impressions (especially bad impressions) but they don't seem to get it. I didn't take the luxury of telling stories to try to explain stories of these "impressions," partly because I felt like it would be weird to claim this without any of my friends from home to back me up (I need you guys - for more than just to legitimate my illegitimacy). When I get quiet for a while, Allyn asks me, "What are you thinking?" Yes. She is definitely not allowed to ask that question. But I answer honestly and say, "I'm thinking about writing about you in a facebook note for my friends back home." After that, I let this conversation go, perhaps letting Allyn fall into one of her more down moments.

We head back to Tagore, and I realize that I smell. Like, pretty bad. So I reapply the Axe deodorant that my dad got me (which may cause bruises, if the commercials in America are at all accurate [5 points for alliteration]), before heading down to dinner. In the middle of dinner, I turn to Allyn and inform her that, if she's still interested in my psychological whatever, I have decided to be honest. She indicates that she is still interested, so I tell her, "I worship a little man who lives in my stomach and I have diagnosed him with OCD, and I think sometimes his anxiety gets to me and makes me depressed." Her eyes go wide as she shoots Riane a look from across the table. After settling down after my confession (which I don't think she believed me, by the way), she started talking about how she has an anxiety disorder that they don't have medication (and maybe not even a name) for. She wanted to talk to me a little bit more about depression (that part I think she believed). I went back up to my room, exhausted from the cycle ride, and slept.

A new soul in a very strange world

There are many beautiful things about India, and one of those things is the huge amount of curiosity.
Just as I am here, curious about India and its traditions and people, many Indians, unable to get out of their situation are just as interested in me as I am in them. They sit next to me and ask me questions, make gestures towards me, ask me to be in a photo with them. I am a novelty, just as they are a novelty. The people of India have a wealth of knowledge, just in different areas of life.
The people of India have opened a door for me - they welcome me into their lives. Everyday, they show me what they know, and the world they see, the world that they are a part of.
They show me through their eyes the things they know.

My academic upbringing did not teach me about the world. I heard about poverty. I heard about mafias. I read about poor living conditions. I saw pictures of disfigurements, and examined articles on sanitation.
I did not know suffering until I got to India.

All of the SIP students - we are all here for different reasons.
I have examined as many people as possible (all that I have met that can communicate with me) about the mentality of India's people, their corrupt government, and traditional ideals - I am here to learn about Indian society, in all aspects, and help where help is needed and wanted.
Upon discussing Indian society as well as other issues with other SIP students (whom are interested but not as intent as I am), I realized yesterday that they might be tired of hearing me ask questions regarding the reasoning behind the complex Indian lifestyle, so I rolled my eyes with the off-hand comment (but not really, I'm being serious, I really do want to know. It is a fascinating, horrible, loaded question.) "Oh, how to solve the world's problems. Where to start."

One girl looked me from across the train -
'Why do you want to save the world? There are so many problems. I can't take on that many, I have my own."

She is a problem.

It is people like her that are walking around remote regions as well as vastly populated regions of India, other developing countries, or even places that  with their eyes closed, refusing to see that this world is huge and connected and there are people in need everywhere. We all have the time to help others, if they ask for our help.

This girl became a novelty for a minute for me. I pulled a shameless India stare and just looked at her - I'm fairly certain my eyeballs were bulging out of my head.
I had just given gum to a little boy, tried to indicate the trash should go in dust bin, and watched him throw it out the window, saying "This place is my dust bin."
And then she tells me that she can't worry about other people because she has her own issues.

Well
Someone tell me
Who the hell doesn't?

We had just seen a brilliant display of the Indian mindset and lifestyle- here was a prime example. A filthy, curious, smiling child on a train by himself - he was asking me (in Telegu) my name and "reading" my text message, eating a fried chili pepper and then gesturing towards me for money and food, which I gave to him only to find him throwing the trash out the train window.

I can only determine this as a lack of... morals and respect.
I do not claim to know the inner workings and beliefs behind the religions of India and the East and therefore I do not know the true morals of the people of India, but I do believe that there are vital aspects to living on the earth. Surely somewhere in their beliefs there are guidelines to being a world citizen... right? Hinduism, Buddhism - enlightenment and understanding the world through an accepting and peaceful self, through peaceful eyes... right?

What is it?
Is it the lack of education? That can't be right - public education is guaranteed through high school. Are people just not going? Why not? How did life get so bad here that nobody can find any way to support themselves and allow children to become educated?
On that note, where did all the people come from?
Where did any of it come from?
Is it the lack of communication? The oppressive culture? The amazingly liberal yet incredibly demanding and restrictive religious beliefs? Is it good ole' tradition, passed down from generation to generation? Is it life by example?
Has there always been such a lack of... care?
India is such a free-for-all. This makes it appealing to many, mostly foreigners in well developed and static lives.
In India, you can become a brand new person, and it is usually a choice.
In India, for many natives, life often depends on the goodness of visiters.
The other day, I was given some strange advice: Only give to those who are disabled. If they aren't missing a leg, an eye, a hand - they can work for themselves.
I do not agree with this advice.
I was also told to never give money to children - they have often been drugged or were sold into a form of slavery where they have to beg for money to "pay" back what was paid for them.
Even as that breaks my heart, I wonder where that comes from. Where (why, when, how) did someone determine that the best way to make money is at the expense of other people's well being?

But I do believe that many people can often make their future. You can determine who you want to be.
Society only holds you in as much as you allow it. Otherwise, there are always ways around the system.

I have always been a firm believer of thinking for yourself. Do not just accept the conditions in which you live, where you come from, the ideals you grow up with. One should always challenge societal beliefs and norms. This is not to cause discourse within a society, but to prompt questions and change where needed. Discourse with change is inevitable.
The tough part - how do you determine what is right for everyone?
You don't. The world is what you make it. Guidelines are necessary, until it is time for change again. And change, like they always say, is inevitable.


So what is it?
Are these the images and ideals of a culture moving, changing from a conservative to liberal society?
Where (when, how, why) did India gather its lack of concern? Does nobody want to find a way to better their world here in India? What is their concept of a liberal, free society? What is the eventual goal of India?
Why is life this hard?

Even those with money do nothing, from what I can tell.
The Commonwealth games are coming next October to Delhi.
Delhi has a lot of money on the way.
Delhi is getting a new metro system.

Upon investigation, Delhi is not getting homeless shelters, animal shelters, literacy associations, and afterschool programs. No roads are being improved and Delhi is not creating jobs. Some jobs have been created by the building of the metro system, yes. But with all of the money coming in, many more jobs should be created.


These are some of the issues I am confronting in India.
I am not a tourist here. I will be here for 4 months. I am a citizen. I have signed the residency papers.
Just as the people of India have so much to tell me and so much that I can learn, I can help them learn, too. I have the ability and resources to spread knowledge of the thousands of possibilities the world offers. I can't give them those possibilities, as much as I want to just hand them education, food, shelter, comfort, hope and money, I can't. I can only help them understand and determine themselves, for themselves, if they let me.

I hope that one day, little boys won't throw trash out the window. I hope that one day, people will become curious about their lifestyle, their beliefs, their systems and attempt to improve them. I hope one day, hopefully through my help, little boys will respect themselves, their environment, and their fellow world citizens.
I don't know where to start.
But that is my hope for India.


My hope for me is that I always understand I can't make the world better because of my own notions of "better."

Mai thik hu

I went to this "invite only" concert last night. It was the most real experience I have had since my time in India.
I mean, everything in India has been incredibly real and super mind blowing. But this short hour and a half sitar and table drums demonstration and concert is one of my best memories so far.
I came to India to be part of the culture - to be Indian, and to learn what Indians find truly important.

Music is part of that.

This type of traditional music began as meditation - not meant for any ears or to be shown. It was meant for survival.

This isn't local bands, local talent stuff or top 40 radio music.

This is life for them. And life, for many Indians, is all about interconnectivity. They do not just make music to make music. They don't do anything in India just to do something. Everything is done with great intent and everything has meaning and makes reference to something else.
Music is like everything else - a form of meditation and salvation. It is meant to uplift and strengthen the soul. Music here is introspective, internal, and considered beautiful in all the forms in is given. It is open to interpretation, and leaves plenty of space for the musician to treat the notes as he feels. The treatment of the notes truly changes the meaning, and the possible characteristics that can be given to a single note can portray so many different things.

One important word in Hindustani and Carnatic music is "khayal," which means "imagination."
It leaves a lot of room for improv and allows the musician to really get into the music, for themself.

Our performer played a ragga for us, and before it, he told a story.
(First, a ragga is translated as "that which colors the world.")
The story: He once played a ragga for a Chinese man. Traditionally, a ragga is exuberant, lively and happy music. But when he finished, the Chinese man kept commenting on how sad the piece was.

He placed a ragga for us. It brought tears to my eyes. But these were tears of happiness and being connected, and having love for the world.

Here I was, a complete stranger in a foreign, exotic country listening to traditional Indian music and tearing up with happiness at the entire beautiful, learning situation and the amusing thought, isn't it amazing how we are conditioned by our society with our responses.

It also showed me another side of India:
India is kinda gross. I can handle gross. But I can't handle apathy. I don't know who, if any Indians are actually apathetic about the way they live, but it sometimes seems that way. Trash on the ground, animals and people dying in the streets... But I walk through this gorgeous archway into a tropical hidden garden with romantic lighting and a projection for the spread of knowledge, and I saw what I came to India for: I saw people enjoing their traditions, their music, their knowledge and intelligence. I've been seeing culture, yes. But now I have seen some of their arts, and expression.
This wasn't a life or death scene, like much of India. This was true appreciation for the arts and expression, the world and origins. These were people on the other side of the world, attending and appreciating "world music" just as much as me, and we were learning together, at the same time.
India is full of more than just things than people fighting to live - India is full of people living completely in the moment. India is full of people actually living.

This is why I am in India.

In terms of being in India, and what I expected out of India - I must have expected a lot of the things I have seen because I can't recall having actual "culture shock."
Granted, I have only been here for not quite 2 weeks, but I have seen plenty.
A week long driving tour of the northern part of India gave me plenty to be shocked about.
And I am shocked. The shock just hasn't been nearly as extreme as I thought it would be. Perhaps I am too adaptable, or maybe I don't know what to see.

But, I am a little frustrated, too.

Just like I was shocked when I was at a concert full of people who are interested in music and tradition and expression and preservaton, I get shocked at how little the people sometimes seem to care.
Perhaps that is the key to understanding what I see - I can't think of any place I have looked out and just thought, wow, this place is gorgeous. Because so far, it hasn't been. India has been a great deal of things for me - but beautiful, aesthetically, it has not been.

I do not know why, but am working very hard on understanding that aesthetics do not matter - this is a completely different thing to Indians (is it just the need for functionality?)

How do you make people care about their environment, their people, their livelihoods, their animals?
How do you make all of the difficult obstacles go away from people who appear to embrace their incredibly complicated society, and don't seem to care themselves? Then whose opinion matters?


I am not sure what culture shock is, or what all it is supposed to entail and how intensely one is supposed to feel it, but I feel ok. I don't want to be anywhere else, or doing anything else.
I just want more.




Btw, I am taking conversational Hindi.
I laugh my way through the class. I tend to find a lot of things in India pretty hysterical. I haven't laughed as much, or as hard, in such a long time. Maybe it is just the post chai glow we all get, but India makes me a very happy, laughy person.

Anyways, the funny sentence in Hindi.
--> Mai thik hu, lekin ap thik nahi hai.
Means, I'm ok, but you are not ok.
Direct translation says, "I'm ok are, but you ok not are."

My favorite combination - thik hai.
sounds like "tk"
accompanied, as always, with an Indian head nod.

The Indian Head Nod

is rather amusing.

We practice. It means "ok."
it also is the common way to say, I am not certain, so "ok" that is where the classroom is, that is what the protest is about, that is what time we will get there, etc.
People in India move in circles - roads are constant traffic circles, the people talk in circles, the campus is set up as a big circle. So, in traditional Indian circle-ness, people refuse to make a decision and give you a straight answer.

"Is this class, Intro to Indian History and Society I in classroom 116?"
(look at the paper.. show it to a friend... head nod.)

"uh.... ok. thanks."

we don't know what it means at all.
but we practice.

Tyler had a man date - this apparently is pretty common here. Men and women walk around holding hands, a friendship gesture. Granted, he was stood up the first night, but he went last night. We practiced the head nod all night so he would be able to communicate. From what I heard, all went well, and the conversation went along smoothly.

We've made a small video. I'll post it (along with others) when our proxies go down and our internet lets us.

So, classes began again today (Wednesday)
and since we are just taking whatever classes we want for a week, I went to a history class.
The only problem is that she started with "what is history?" and reinforced what I had heard about Indian classes - they are easyyyyy

This is supposedly a graduate school - and no offense to anybody, anything - but I feel that everything I am learning in the classrooms here, I have already learned before. and for the past 12 years.
I don't think I will take this first impression too lightly, though, because even though it still feels like vacay, I know it is not and I must get credit. Good credit, at that.

On that note, I have broken a few rules, I believe.
I tend to sit on the left side of a classroom - I can see better, and feel more comfortable. Here, men sit on the left side, women on the right side of the classroom. It wasn't until yesterday when I realized that everyone continues to look at me funny because I have been sitting among all the men in the classroom. I'm sure I gave off a positively "I'm an ignorant American" vibe.
However, I do not like the rule, and I am not hurting anyone or anything, so I will continue to sit where I like.
According to Sumana, there is no real reason for this any longer, in modern India, just old fashioned ideals.
I get a lot of stares no matter what I am doing - from both male and female. Women are too shy/feel like they can't relate, men feel like they shouldn't.
So, I just get stared at and haven't made any Indian friends.

 I learned a prayer today, in Kuchipudi class - of course, I just repeated the motions and words, but I plan on researching it and making it my own. I need, for myself, to really understand the underside of Indian beliefs and culture and what makes it so interconnected in so many ways.
That is why I am in India.
Not sitting in straight history classes or taking human rights classes - I need to be involved, a person in the society, to really learn here.

I will get there.  I will learn the things I want to learn here.
I've been on a tour, and we aren't allowed off of campus right now.
But I already know that I love India enough to come back many, many more times in my lifetime and what I don't learn now is certainly going to be a goal throughout my entire life. What I am learning and what I will learn will now and forever be part of who I am, how I perceive the world and my surroundings, and how I live my life.

First Day

Today was the first day of classes.

First day of classes doesn't mean a thing here. We get a week to try all of the different classes we want and then decide. and we are to let them know if there are classes we want to take but don't work time wise... and they will change the times around to suit us.
weird stuff.
i don't think that would work in charleston.

I'm hoping to get into a famous civil rights activists class... Human Rights in India.
Cool, yea?

Besides having a boring paper work day and orientation information...

This is a pretty exciting time to be in India.
tomorrow might be pretty historical in Hyderabad.
The group that is trying to form another state (Telangana) due to language differences and less infrastructure and resources... and they speak Telegu... is calling for a "bandh" which equals "closed." We don't know if the central government will allow it... but if it happens, classes will not be happening tomorrow (most likely because teachers can't get in) and we will not be allowed to leave campus for anything. All highways and businesses will be closed until a decision is made.
People that do not use public transportation, etc are at risk of having supporters of Telangana stop them and tell them they can't move.

Who knows how long we will be sequestered here.
When we wake up, we will know.

They feel that stopping the economy tomorrow will force the government to grant them permission to become another state - the problem is that because they feel left out (language difference, less resources...) people don't think they can survive on their own as a state and need to stay part of Hyderabad to continue being a group.

We shall see in the morning.

India

This is me one week after I left for India.
I am attempting to find the instrument on a swiss army knife to cut through luggage locks.
Good thing I found the keys under my pillow that night because I couldn't find it. Swiss army knives need to have more to them. Thankfully, Tyler was able to wire cutter my bag back together.
I made it all the way to the dorms before realizing I had locked my bags and lost the keys.


This is us taking a rikshaw through Delhi. After our tramautizing night trip without a guide.
Easy peasy after that.


This is vibrant India.


This is trashy India.
This is right on the ground before a beautiful Water Palace.
There needs to be more of a green movement in India.
I am not quite sure where to start - developing homes for the homeless so they can't burn the trash and cause so much pollution, campaigns/awareness, pure clean up acts... I just don't know yet.

We take pictures of each other taking pictures in marble hallways in forts on top of mountains.


A palace with mirrors everywhere. So shiny.
Had 12 different apartments for the 12 wives of... I think, Akbar the Great. We ran around this place like crazy.

This is the elephant I rode to the top of the Amber Fort in Jaipur.
Riding elephants is not that much fun, by the way.
They are not the smoothest mode of transportation.
They are entertaining, however.

This is Tyler eating a banana. Bananas are available everywhere for very cheap, and wonderfully so, because they are also familiar to our stomachs and soothing when it comes to all of the spicy food.
This is also Tyler several days into a massive, terrifying roadtrip without a razor and having guitar withdrawal. We were all missing something at this point.


This is me at one of the gates to the Taj Mahal.
Every single site in India is 5 billion times the size of anything people make today.
The Taj Mahal is built out of this translucent marble that is from the Middle East and because it is translucent, it changes colors as the sky changes colors. It has sorts of stones from all over that make up the designs. We got to go to one of the places where the ancestors of the original builders still practice forming and cutting the stones and placing them in special glue and sticking them into stone, just like the Taj Mahal was made.


This is Riane tying on a prayer string at a mosque.



This is us at our first tourist destination in Delhi - Jama Masjid (spelling?) They made us take our shoes off... I'm very glad I had socks on... and they made the women wear gigantic dresses.
Here, before there were telephones/microphones, etc. they used the human radio and echoed across this huge huge huge mosque so all of the followers could hear the words of the main dude.



These are the 2 people who have gotten me where I am today.
This is them being happy for me at the airport at 3 am.
I love them so much.

Elephants are considered good luck in India, after the Hindu god Ganesh. The story as I was told: His father was Shiva, his mother Parvati. One day, Shiva went on a pilgrimmage and was gone for many years, and in the meantime, Parvati had Ganesh. For some reason, Parvati had to put a lot of guards outside of her home. When Shiva came home, nobody recognized him, and the main watch over Parvati's home was Ganesh. Angry, Shiva sliced his head of for not recognizing him as the great Shiva. When everyone realized what had happened, someone went out and found a momma elephant and her baby elephant, lying back to back. They chopped off the baby's head and that is why Ganesh has an elephant head.
Now, it is believe that a mother should never sleep with her back to her child.

I hope they will bring me good luck and extra happiness in India.



Hope you enjoyed some of those pics!!
I have so many more...
Someday, I hope they can be shared with all of you.
Don't forget to check my facebook for the entire albums.
(and to contact me!!)


Can I tell you that India is stimulating? ( One of our many hilarious guides had a very proper British accent and began every sentence with --> And can I tell you miss? Would you believe...? And what if I told you...? We found him to be very amusing - we are still quoting him, a week later.)

There are more than a billion sounds, colors, foods, animals, levels of people and wealth.
I have never seen more color or a more dichotomous situation in my life.
Will I ever again?

I have been here for a week now (but I just got internet and will post the loads and loads of pictures that I have taken with both my beautiful new nikon that takes brilliant pics and the videos with my older camera.)

A few thoughts and first impressions - neither good nor bad, these are just what they are:



I entered a foggy India Sunday evening. Foggy is not the correct term.
Polluted is the correct term.
India is filthy.

I woke up gasping for breath my first night here. I thought I was choking.

Everyone in India must wake up the same everyday as well.
Life is India is a fight.
I have encountered leprosy. It turns your stomach.
I have covered my eyes at polio, those walking on all four with deformed feet. I have gasped at the thrusting hands and grasping hands, the shameless starting, the eyes that bore into your skull.
I have looked away from animals digging in the trash and children without eyes.
I have pulled away from men with one arm.

There are some moments that are so normal.
I am listening to my ipod, reading a book, talking with friends - and then I look up.
There are people begging for help absolutely everywhere.
The people, those that do not understand, have a motion.
They scrunch their eyes a little, with a small head tilt and pursed lips. Their hands form an Italian lip kiss scrunch, their shoulders hunch. This look was very familiar at first and I couldn't determine why. I realized after a few days that I used to get this look from Anatoly when he couldn't understand why I was scared, why I couldn't understand him, why we weren't connecting and relating and working together. The look is a mixture of confusion, pain, rejection, astonishment.
The hurt in the eyes is the most painful thing I have encountered. I believe I have made the decision to not look into faces.

Hawkers are also a constant source of consternation for me.
everyone tells me that India has a lower standard of living, don't worry about bartering, etc.
But I get upset about it
we don't barter with prices in the US - granted, in the US we don't raise prices for foreigners, but I can't imagine ever asking someone to lower their prices.
We just say that because it is India, because it is a developing country, because all of the people are part of caste systems that they are born into - we say that because of all of these things, it is ok to barter with them, and ask them to lower prices. In the US, our goods are made with shoddy equipment, and cheap labor, and sent overseas for cheaper prices. In the US, people really are only out for your money.
In India, these people are out to live.
They don't live to work, they work to live.
And it kills me that I ask these people to lower their prices they have set for me. What they are offering may not be worth what they are selling it for, but a lot of things I buy are certainly not worth what I pay for it at home.

Their standard of living is what it is because many visitors, and many natives as well, leave them, even force them to lower their standards of living.
Is manual labor in any country worth, in rupees, only 20 rs?
I do not know the background of Indian culture and society, but I will be taking this class (starting Tuesday morning) on how to confront social issues (Human plights in India -- with famous activist Prof. G Haragopal) where I can address all of my questions with informed background and truly decide how I can help India.

I bought dog food today. There are far too many animals without food here. I don't know what I will do with the animals I help when I leave... but I believe I will figure it out.
I should buy a pair of scissors and neuter them all.

I will be volunteering at a local NGO chapter starting asap.


I don't mean to say that I have not had fun - I am with a wonderful group of people. My roommate, Riane, is a beautiful soul.
Riding in a rikshaw the first night was one of the most exhilarating/traumatizing experiences of my life.
We have visited many beautiful places.
We started in Delhi.

Delhi is the most overwhelming city.
I am not sure that going directly to Delhi was a smart decision, but our tour of Agra and Jaipur was great.
We have seen beautiful things - the Taj Mahal, many palaces - the Wind Palace, the Water Palace, Agra Fort, Amber Fort --> my personal favorite. Everything is straight out of fairy tales. Just imagine the beautiful palace people in beautiful dresses (some of the forts had wheelchair ramps... the dresses were so heavy the women got pushed around...)

It has taken us forever to get anywhere.
We call it India time. People talk in kilometers here (I'm getting better at math strangely enough...) and so I can tell you that it is 200 kilometers from Delhi to Agra which in normal people time is about 124 minutes... a little over 2 hours... but in India time takes 5 hours.
I'm learning patience.

I have been eating a lot of spicy spicy food. American food will have zero flava once I come back. We eat family style - my favorite. Everyone knows now to pack up the food because I insist on passing out leftovers to those who need it.
There is no pork or beef here. No problem here. I do have trouble eating the chicken that still has bones, however. ew.
We love chai.
We have tea time at 5 everyday :) so happy about this.
about chai:
we prefer truck stop chai. Our experiences have proven to us that even on horribly paved roads during 12 hours detours due to political agitation and sitting on a bus that could break down at any minute with 8 strangers... truck stop chai is delicious and a life saver.


So... after bag dilemmas hours before departure, navigating airports by myself, a 14 hour flight, landing in smelly delhi, touring the Golden Triangle, meeting a roadblock protest, have flight delays, making new friends, drinking chai, sleeping in sketchy hostels and having the time of my life, I am in Hyderabad and going to start studying the life I have decided to take on for 4 months.

Among my many goals, some of the most important - to absorb my culture shock with open arms and open mind. To be realistic, and patient. To learn and grow, to share and receive.
To accept.



OK.

Long post.
Sorry.

I had a lot to say, and still more to come.
But, on India time... I need to get to bed.
I mean, the bus might show up on time for classes.

India is full of obstacles.

But I'm up to the challenge.

Love to all.