Just say you'll wait for me, you'll wait for me

 I found this totally ugly sock mixed in with my clothes.
It was this hideous greenish blue with oogly yellow flowers - wayy to retro for anyone to wear.
So I took it out and placed it on top of the washer cause its poor owner might want it back and because I certainly did not want it.

I am the poor owner.

 

These socks used to be the same color.

Now I have one seriously super ugly sock and one beautiful blue and white christmas sock.

I found out because I found I hadn't washed one of them - it was hiding under my bed. When I found it and I couldn't find the other, I remembered the gross one on top of the washer that was mysteriously in my clothes batch.

Just can't escape daily life.

But, I can't say when the last time I dyed my clothes was. So I guess it isn't that daily for me.

Learning to forgive India for not having bleach quickly and to get over at frustration with the washing machine for doing such a poor job, such as putting a green shirt in with white clothes and with hot water is a daily thing. 

I got over this one pretty quickly. There was clearly nothing to be done, and it is still a sock. I wouldn't wear it with shorts in public anywho. 

Now it is just funny, if kinda sad.

It is one ugly sock.

So,

we are traveling this weekend to some caves!! I'll be sure to post pictures, because it promises to be amazing.

I went to an art lecture on the art and architecture of the caves - it took 18 years to carve 31 Buddhist retreat caves into a big slab of mountain. I love lectures. They give you so much insight that you can't just get from seeing, or talking to guides. nope. Lectures, special lectures and presentations - they are usually personal projects that these people have invested in and they know a lot. sooo much. it is so intimidating to talk with people like that. I just sit in awe.

One thing though, is that I am at a university. I am always surrounded by intellectuals. everyone talks about the education level of India and while I have spent time in both an elementary government run school and a high school privately owned school - I am constantly around intellectuals. Students, teachers, researchers, people who are educated.

I haven't spent nearly the amount of time "in the field" like I thought I might, like I want. 

I am in India, but I am still looking at the world through an educational lens. I am learning about culture through academics. 

That isn't to say that I am not learning real world things. But... I don't know.

Hopefully this summer will give me what I am looking for - pure cultural immersion.

With the program I'm looking at, I will be working full time doing interviews and research on topics of my choice, but also having the opportunity to really work with non-profits and build grassroots projects from the ground up, so the natives can learn to support themselves in different way.

I hope I can help people learn to help themselves through love, kindness, guidance and assurance that it will all be ok.

Monday

I don't feel as if I have much to tell right now.


So, I'll give you a run down of my day and then tell you about the weekend (with pictures) if I feel up to:

- fell asleep on the roof today. I usually go up there in the morning when the power is out, because it is much cooler.
- ate an apple
- picked at a blister between my toes and now I can't wear flip flops
- went to classes... contemporary India, Indian Philosophy, Hindi
- went to a cultural event that the Indians from the North East put on. It involved several traditional dances and songs, a pretty exciting fashion show (seriously, a huge number of random people with phone cameras just stood by the side of the stage and snapped tons of pictures as if they were real celebrities), snacks and teatime, and my friend Pavel even sang an Oasis song. Strangely enough, India is very into Oasis and Incubus. For us, they are so 90s. (background info: the people from the North East are on the border of Nepal, and look pretty Chinese-ish. So, they are often discriminated against, because they consider themselves Indians {and they are} even though they don't look it. They are super Westernized {clothes, American English} because for a long time, Christian missionaries took great interest in them and provided them with education, shelter, protection, etc. Now they are fairly Americanized and all are very Christiany, and it doesn't always seem that they have much connection with other Indians. In fact, universities and colleges have special funds for under represented/ostracized groups, etc. and reserved spots for these students so they cannot be discriminated against. Still, they do have their own traditional song and dances.) Makes me a little sad for the US... as the melting pot, what is truly ours? What would we show at a cultural event that didn't have its roots in some other culture? Not a talent show, a cultural event. What would it mean to us?
- felt a tinsy bit sorry for myself that I was sitting alone at a cultural event that was absolutely packed. Seriously, for awhile, every seat in the auditorium was taken except for the chairs on each side of me. They were taken up later, yes, but this is a common thing, feeling like nobody wants to spend time with me. I don't know why I feel like it is such an issue, but it really does bother me.
- ate 2 desserts that are basically bread that is fried and soaked in syrup. then, didn't go for a run. ugh. hating myself.
- booked a plane ticket to Kerala and back for $80. nicely done, allyn.
- researched more field schools. I am going to kill this project in about 2.5 seconds. I've been researching summer archaeology field schools, because I thought that was my only option. I found out recently from a professor who was confused as to why I was doing excavation work when ethnographic work is more my style... and then filled me in that even though we had been emailing about field schools for like a month, I had a more pleasing option. Frustrated, yet glad. I might be an anth major, but I can't tell you how not excited I was to get out in the middle of Mexico in the summer and dig in the dirt for 7 hours a day. I'm already a naturally sweatyish person. I don't enjoy sweating that much unless I am dancing and I don't like being around uber sweaty people unless they are dancing too. Nevertheless, the idea of going anywhere is way exciting. Now it is just more exciting.
- read about Rukmini Devi
- sweated my skin off
- worried about the state of my skin. Not only does India not do anything for acne prone skin, it doesn't help to have severe 3rd degree sun burns and now my entire upper back and arms are shedding like a snake. I wash my face like 5 times a day, not kidding.
- drank chai
- zoned out to Pretty Lights
- watched the entire house convene on the house porch to light up when the power went out
- power went out twice tonight while skyping with eric.

Btw, keep him in your thoughts, whoever you are. He is leaving again for another cruise ship music stint and yesterday, his father was flown to a burn unit hospital for getting caught in a brush type fire. He is expected to recover quickish and just fine, but has had to have skin grafts and such from his face and other parts of his body moved to burn spots. Scary thing to 1. be wrapped up in gauze, in the hospital and 2. have to leave when this has happened to someone in your family.
Also, he just went through a breakup with someone he really cared for. Which, from experience, sucks incredibly.
So, think about him and send all the love in the universe his direction.

In other news, the Telangana movement is back on, and getting much more serious. Saturday was a serious bandh. There were roadblocks and tons of military out to stop a rally/march by Telangana supporters. It became more unfortunate when a young man from Osmania University set himself on fire in front of everyone. The police put him out and sent him to the hospital but he died yesterday (Sunday). This man was planning this for awhile. He was an orphan, and had a bag with him with certain paperwork and a suicide note.
Makes you wonder what goes through the mind when a decision like suicide is made definite. I have no idea how someone would get to that point. What is the next step? What is the next day? Is there still a to-do list, emails to write, class to attend, lunch to eat, performance to see? How quick is that decision? What do you do with your stuff? What is the last thing you make sure you say to people in person? Do you talk it through with someone? In this case, how does it feel when people perhaps support your suicide decision and tell you yes! commit suicide for this cause!...?

Saturday evening:
Some people here at the house had bdays but we didn't really know them so we didn't go to their party. We went salsa dancing. And had the best time. We had the hardest time trying to get people to go with us, but now everyone who rejected us want to go!
Found this website, Meetup, where groups form and meet and I found a salsa club, founded by (as listed in my phone) "Rishi Salsa" (he gave me his card - his profession? Promoter, haha isn't that bizarre?) that meets on Saturdays at the top of this high rise with clear windows out over the city and light up couches. We went, and danced with Indians that aren't afraid to touch you, and even a Norwegian, Sven, who has been in Hyderabad for a week on business.  He asked me if there is a salsa belt in the US like there is a Bible belt, haha. I told him no, but more in large cities. He asked me if I was a country girl and if I could drive a tractor and then told me he likes a girl who can be in charge.
ew much?
They all told us to come back.
We will. Who can pass up experiences like salsa in swanky rooftop with Norwegians that hit on you in India?

Anywho,
Because of the agitation, a trip we were supposed to take on Saturday, we took on Sunday.
We took a trip to the Qutb Shah Tombs and Golconda Fort.
Riane and I had been the to tombs for that super cool dance performance, but this time, we went in the day!

The tombs:

 

More marble hallways/stairwells. I love them.

 

  

 

Golconda Fort:

We had a guide here and he kept insisting we take pictures of certain things and also that we stand in certain places so he could take a picture for us. He must have known about my modeling in Indian mission.

We are like Christmas. 

 

Way To Up.

 Ok.

Up we went, 725 stairs. That is why I have blisters between my toes.

I had trouble getting up there at times, mainly because of the heat. The heat here is smothering. But right past us went women in saris and heels, and they were not even breaking a sweat. Our guide kept stopping in places where he knew we would get the best breeze. "Take the Breeze" is what he told us to do. So we did. We took the breeze, because we were gross sweaty Americans whose noses dripped when we looked down.

We had to walk, our guide told us, because we did not have, like the King/Queen used to have, people to carry us up the mountain. These people were impressive - they put short people in the front of the carry carriage and tall people in the back so when they went up stairs, the King didn't sit lopsided. That is the life.

It gets cooler - they made their entrance pretty impenetrable with a gate and first wall too close together that enemies couldn't get elephants back there to gather speed and knock down the gate. They also had a hot water and oil mixture pool to pour over the enemy head through a hole in the stone at the front. They also had a clapping portico where way at the bottom of the fort, a person could clap, and at the very top, people could hear it. Their version of a telephone system.

We saw a ritual. At the top of the fort was a Hindu temple devoted to Kali. They apparently had slaughtered a goat before we got there. they showed us the blood stains.

 

 

I'm supposed to be standing in front of a view of the Qutb Tombs in the back.

 

I learned the significance of the color orange, but it is a very long explanation. Basically, it is the strongest color to explain to world and its energy.

 

That person on the left is Abhishek. He is barreling down a staircase. He likes to run down them. Riane made a video because it really is very strange to see the largest Indian (he isn't large, just compared to other Indians) seriously running down a mountain. The best part was that it wasn't just him. At like the exact same moment he started down, our guide did it too!! So, all the way down 725 stairs, the two of them ran. People were looking over their shoulders only to move over to the edges as quickly as possible in fear of dying by being bowled over.

Riane and I inched our way down. The stairs were titled down, the direction we were going, which made the going a little tough.

Riane got in trouble.

Actually, I am standing in the opposite corner doing the same thing. Whispering, we could hear each other through the stone. Early telephone cups.

Oh. Hi perfect ending to a hot, fun day!

CCIC...

Because there is always a part II that everyone neglects to mention

As my philosophy teacher says, "There must be some vey, there must be some vey!! What is zat vey?"
His questions are always met with silence. He is asking us questions about the meaning of life, and in particular, about consciousness. It is his favorite topic.
"Vhat is consciousness? Vhere is it? Is it in this table? Can you feel it? How do you know it exists?"
But what he doesn't understand that as little as we understand our own individual mentalities, he is asking us to tell him what consciousness is and where it lies in Indian Philosophical terms, a mindset that we have just recently started studying, and will soon leave behind, by choice or not.

Tonight it is going to rain. I am looking for to it.

Today Riane found 3 puppies. I called Blue Cross, which is an animal rescue site in Hyderabad to help animals, house animals, etc. They must have their hands full here in India.
I don't ever want to hear Charleston Animal Shelter to talk about how many homeless animals they have up for adoption.
Today I petted a puppy so small, it fit in my palm, and it could barely open its eyes. We found it lolling around in a pile of trash. I probably have some disease, because it was missing fur, but I know that puppy was happier by my presence after just pat. He followed me, and licked water from my hand.
I had to leave him behind, because there isn't anything I can do. Everyone keeps telling me that.
It just can't be true. Who ever tells someone else that there isn't anything that you can do?

I wish I could save everything that suffers.

Hampi Part II

So.
I left off at bedtime, Saturday night.

Sunday morning, we wake up drenched in sweat like normal. The power, therefore the fan, always goes off for a certain amount in the middle of the night.
We had a weird night, all of us. We heard a few explosions and some other strange things.
We had planned this much anticipated trip at 4:30 in the morning up the 675 stairs of the monkey temple mountain to watch the sunrise.
Needless to say, 7:30 turned out to be a better time for all of us.

We went for breakfast at the ever popular Mango Tree Restaurant, where a huge mango tree grows in the middle of this restaurant. Strange, because it is the first mango tree we have seen in all of India.

 

  

Be jealous. Banana pancake with honey and fresh squeezed pineapple juice.

I'm jealous of my Hampi weekend self. It was such an amazing trip.

Turned out to be rickshaw day.

We went for all of the places that only exist in fairy tales, the stuff that your dreams of ancient civilizations and great empires consist of. 

It even turns out to made of magic - walking around in a banana tree field, Jessica and I found these ferns that close up when you touch them. It was by accident. She made a video. 

It was one of those sped up biology videos that explain the evolution process in high speed, where things change and develop - these plants are big and beautiful and open. And then by accident, you brush them, and they close up so tight, so quickly. It was amazing.

It was Avatar-ish.

On that note, I have to continuously remind myself, as strange as this seems, that this is not my world. 

Does that mean that sometimes it feels like I belong? Maybe, yes.

But  in reality, this is not my life and my culture, and I must treat it with respect and honor since I have the opportunity to explore and discover, like I do in my actual home, life, culture.

I watch other people throw trash on the ground, Indians even tell us to, but I can't. Even when I know that is where it will ultimately end up, I can't do it. 

This big world is mine, and yours. I have to listen to it, and treat it with the kindness it treats me. 

(It isn't all about trash. I know there is a lot of trash talk here, but I am silently referring to a great many things that I must leave the way it is.)

So, mindblowing botanical mysteries behind us, we left for actual temples and sites.

Here are some pictures (of the ones that exist):

So, what we were looking at is to the right of Benny, the Sister Stones, but they weren't as interesting as the actual terrain. Whole mountains were made of rocks just like those.

Isn't that bizarre?

We are standing in an underground temple. 

We probably have some sort of parasites. Totally worth it. 

So the building goes up and down, and we stepped over all kinds of things in the pitch black. 

Riane hit her head quite a few times. 

There were fish.

There was smooth stone that has been walked on for thousands and thousands of years, danced on, worshiped on, knelt on. 

This was a house for the holy, for the hopeful, for the needy. 

Like everything else in India, this is it. It doesn't apologize, it only intrigues.

We saw the Lotus Mahal:

 

and a big cow

baby tomatoes

rocks standing on their ends.

If my father had been there, he would have had a hey day placing rocks on their end to say, "I was here. Don't forget that I was here."

 

we found the Queen's pool, where she went swimming and got massages. Sounds like the life.

We also found Riane's raccoon eyes from getting tan with sunglasses on. Found those babies from across the pool.

See 'em?

Then I got Jessica to take a frumpy tourist picture of me in front of a temple we couldn't go in because of restoration efforts. I'm trying to get more pictures of me in these places.

I realize that these places don't mean anything to anybody else. The thing that mostly interests all of you is the fact that I am India, I think. Not all of these sites. I'm also tired of taking pictures of places. 

It has gotten to the point that we are all looking at our pictures and trying to remember exactly what it is a picture of. We take so many photos of buildings that they all blur together. We review them, thinking hey, that is a nice picture. What is it?

Thus begins my modeling career in India.

Keep in mind that I have been trekking across mountains and fields for 2 days now in the sweltering heat. I am tired. This isn't my best shot.

At a lot of the places we went, they had these free standing trees, just like in Lord of the Rings in the city of Gondor. 

So many cultures have nature, especially trees, in a representational position. 

This symbolizes something. I wish someone had told me what it was.

 

This tree, like all of the others, had white blooms at the top. I bet it is beautiful if the blossoms ever fall.

Jessica found a cow friend. I found a dog friend.

Then I found a naked child.

 

Then I found adorable Riane.

These men asked if we wanted some fish. I said I would take a picture of them.

The eyeballs were staring wide open up at us. Grosses me out.

I see, smell, feel so many things here, I'm glad it was so easy for me to revert to vegetarianism again.

Then we were on the road towards dinner in Hospet where afterwards, we would catch another agonizing bus ride home. The pictures truly did stop after this. 

My parting vision of Hampi before my beloved camera was lovingly settled in my Amazing Race bag.

I got a letter from Stephen today and I loved it(!!!) / Hampi part I

There are certain things that come to you when you are barreling down the road at 2 in the morning in the back of a very bumpy bus, when the events of the amazing weekend twinkle in the black you've left behind, when the delirium sets in, and all you have are your earphones to keep the thoughts away.
This tactic doesn't always work, like it works when you don't want to talk to the person sharing a seat with you.
When this tactic doesn't work and you are still curled into a small ball with your eyes closed being hurled through space at the mercy of strangers, you tend to discover yourself somewhere, and you look at your history and see all of your flaws and personal limitations.
I've said it before - India is honest. And India makes you face yourself, each time she throws something new your way. You have to face yourself, your abilities, and all of your flaws, more than you have to face anything else. You confront your limits, and then you wonder to the rushing world that is changing, passing you by outside the dark window, what do I do now that I have acknowledged my flaws? How many limits do I really have? What exactly am I capable of?


I got a sunburn this weekend. My nose has started peeling. This is because I'm on malaria pills, doxycycline, to be exact, and they make you sensitive to the sun.
I got this sunburn in one of the most fantastic places I have ever been - Hampi.
(I've taken a lot of photos during my stay here and during the picture downloading process, my computer informed me that my startup disk was almost full. In the meantime, my pictures didn't all download, but they disappeared off of my camera. I'm sorry :( I wish they would come back so I can show you.)
Hampi is no exception to India's dichotomous situation of sorts - we stayed in a tropical hut, where the toilet and shower curtain-less shower are in behind the same door, where we put down the canopy over our bed to keep out the bugs, where we only had power after 1 in the afternoon and we took freezing cold showers after long sweaty days climbing the arid mountains made purely of huge boulders, rocks, stacked by the great Mother in precarious positions, mountains that make you gasp because these aren't like any mountains you have ever imagined, that stretch out for miles, mountains that you climb up after crossing a sacred river in a round coracle boat, made of bamboo and tar, moving towards rice paddy fields and banana tree fields that line the banks of the river where people bath in the holy water and wash their clothes, towards the foot of the mountain, to climb to the top, to a temple, to an ashram, to a fort, to a haven, where what you see for as far as the eye can see are the remains of those who came before and left us remnants tucked away in the far corners of these stony mountains, only the pillars of beliefs revealing to us the power of ability and devotion.

It  is the work of something far greater than yourself, of people long ago with hopes and dreams and beliefs and devotion to those things at work that are indeed, far greater than anything we can ever imagine.


We got to Hampi early Friday

 

and we ate breakfast, watching all of the different types of people passing us by at a very early hour that somehow didn't seem to affect these people, tourists and locals alike. We didn't know that we would soon be like them, up early, soaking in everything that Hampi had to offer.

Friday was also a national holiday in honor of Shiva the Destroyer, Maha Shivaratri where everyone goes to the temple, fasts, doesn't sleep, and gets high for a whole day and night off of these pot milkshakes.
We missed this celebration because we stayed on the other side of the holy river and the boats stopped going at 6 pm, but we heard it was wild to see. Elephants and cows were just running loose, policemen shaking unresponsive babies, thousands of people everywhere.

Right - we stayed in huts - food. check. shelter? cross the river.
What we saw next:

 

our transportation to and from the home base

People washing clothes and bodies. They wash them similarly, strangely enough. The clothes they send out, and reel back in only to smoosh the clothing into a small ball and throw it continuously onto the rocks, beating the dirt, the filth, the impurities out of the cloth. They repeated this times 50. The people... they wash by hunching their shoulders, crossing one arm over their chest, holding the nose with the other and then face plant into the water, suction cup the water back up as they pull away but the cave their chest makes holds the water there, repeatedly, beating their bodies against the water, to finish off by just tossing handfuls of water onto their body. 

We ended up here:

With a window view of this:

And then we ventured off to see the town and holiday things:

 

powder for decorations

 

Bells for prayer and puja

 

The main temple devoted to Shivaratri is behind me in this picture, this is just the gate we passed through. The pictures of the actual temple disappeared off my camera :(

This is a large, sweet root.

We did some shopping and Riane got molested by the tailor. Looking back on it, we should have yelled at the man for what he did, but we were so appalled that we decided to take pictures of pantsless Riane in a man's shop where no Indian girl would ever be expected to take off her clothes for measurements. It was funny at the time, it is horrifying now.

We caught a glimpse of daily life as we wandered the alleys and twisty walkways of India:

 

Then we hopped back to our boat because we had to cross the river back to our huts by 6 pm.

We woke up to see the sunrise. 

We waited and waited and just as we were leaving, the sun poked up from behind one of the mountains, and ascended into the sky faster than any sunrise I have ever seen. And it's funny, but instead of being in that moment, in Hampi, on a boulder with a man doing yoga behind me, watching the sunrise, I was in Bishopville, the summer my brother shot off fireworks in the cotton field and set something like 5 acres on fire. We couldn't get it to stop. We just had to watch it burn away the field. 

And that is how I felt about the sunrise. It didn't matter how much I wanted that moment to freeze in time, to make the sun stop right there, the sun burning away the morning haze in the horizon, it was going to rise, bright red, until it filled the sky with light and woke the world.

And we moved on, too, because with light came heat and it sizzled me.

Jessica and I got separated from the group and remained that way all day. The first thing we did was find ourselves bartering over a trip to the Hanuman monkey temple in a river coracle. We thought we were getting deal when we agree to 600 Rs. total trip - there, waiting for us, and back. we found out later from our trusty Lonely Planet that coracle rides should cost like 20 Rs... life of a foreigner. 

Anyways, we liked our paddler man. He is married, he bought this coracle, he told us about the whirlpools and the Shiva Lingas (dancing places!!) and asked us questions about our homes and lives - he was sooo nice, he even let Jessica paddle us to our destination (she wasn't quite as adept at paddling as he was... we ended up in the bushes a few times):

The way to the base of the Hanuman temple mountain.

 

On top of the mountain, after some rock climbing.

I took a picture of the 675 stairs we had to climb - that photo disappeared too. 

I hope cyberspace sends some of those pics back.

Anyway, our coracle guide told us 675 stairs - a little kid tried to follow us as a "guide" and told us that there were 575 stairs, then he changed it to 597 stairs and so Jessica gave him a dose of his own guiding abilities and forced him to listen to her guide him about this temple and when she got to the point "no, let me tell you: this dog here built this temple" pointing to a golden retriever-ish dog that boy ran back down the mountain in a huff and we were left in peace.

Back down the mountain, we go to another temple and instead of going in - we decide to eat raspberry ice cream pops. 

Surreal moment when you are sitting there licking off raspberry popsicle from your knuckles in the shade of an old stone building across from a temple that has been deemed a World Heritage Site and you look about you at the ruins of Hampi in India, and are then offered some puja offerings from an old lady who sits down next to you and you have to accept the food even though it could potentially kill you because it would be rude to waste and refuse a gift, especially one that is meant for the gods.

We proceeded to climb the next mountain to an ashram of which god we do not know. We met some french guys at the top who were shirtless and made all of the Indian women looking around the ashram giggle and run away. Seriously, they covered their faces and eyes, giggling, turned on their heels and ran away.

 

There goes Jessica and chai man up the mountain towards the ashram. 

My lack of pictures makes me so sad :(

this man sleeps on top of the mountain so he can be there when people trek up the mountain to watch the sunrise. "chai, i give you good price in morning."

We headed down to meet the group (after getting lost on the various paths and walking through a visibly deserted village that was recently occupied..) to eat another dinner on the ground and compared stories of all the different things done and seen in India on Saturday (all of the restaurants, you sit on the ground and eat. cool.)

Jessica, Riane and I heard music on the way back to the house and went to see what it was and we were delighted to be invited into a safe haven for Jews and Israelites to come and stay in Hampi for as long as they like for free board and free food. They have these places everywhere they told us - China, Japan, the US, etc. and everyone is traveling. We exchanged some stories and info, they gave us delicious tea. But we had to leave because Hampi bugs are out to kill you and we were dying from the bug bites.

But, I can tell you - I have yet to meet a Jew or Israelite I don't like. They are cool people.

We immediately fell into bed as soon as we got to our hut.

End of day, end of post. I'll post more tomorrow. I'll try to recover my other photos too. 

lovelove