my eyeballs are killing me

And I think it is because sometimes I sleep with my eyes open.
... how romantic.

Fact of the day - sleeping with your eyes open does not mean that you are getting a good night's sleep.
If it did, I doubt I would have dosed off 6+ times today.
Do you?

Week 2 ---> My classes are confusing me.

Hebrew text class:
"In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth..."

Biological Anthropology class:
"According to the Big Bang Theory..."

My only conclusion after reading both arguments:

This is a test from the universe.
And she thinks she's reeaaal funny.

Craving of the day:
Ramen noodles.
Conclusion?
Back off, Universe. I know how much sodium you packed in that little plastic bag to make it so delicious.
You ain't funny.

It's midnight, and you are trying to make me fat and stupid.
And I'm not falling for it.


But maybe tomorrow!
Call me then!

First Day of School

This morning we all woke up bright and early, and put on our best first-day-of-school outfits.

and documented it.

Here and Now

This weekend has been just perfect.
I am living in a house full of fun, happy people that I love.
We are all back now - I'm back, and glad. Justin is back from Officer Cadet School training, and we are glad to have him back. Our subletter Caroline made it safely and happily to us and it all makes for one happy, cozy household that I know I will love coming home to.

We cooked, watched movies, made quite a few mixers, danced, went to dinner, had a cheese and wine tasting, rode our bikes, played with the kittens for endless hours, went for walks and visited the farmer's market.

For the first time in my national college life, I feel truly content and happy with the people I am surrounded by. I am finally with people that enjoy my company and want to spend as much time with me as I do with them, and this has always been a strong thing pull for me - I need time with others. We don't necessarily have to be doing much, but I like being with them.
It's my real home away from home.

I have found my group, my niche.
I have no doubt that these wonderful people I am living with and are solid friends who care about me, just like I care about them. The best part is that these are people I trust, and know I can depend and lean on. Support is such a great gift from those around you.

I am going to be crazy busy making the life I want in the future happen - this includes my independent study, my bachelor's essay, my Malta research, my GRE, my MFA in dance performance/choreography auditions, etc. and working 2 separate jobs. All while thinking about choreography for the 2 big conventions I've been asked to choreograph for, when I'll be joining the Peace Corps, and getting my Ph.D in Anth (when and where!?)
But I'm happy. Of course I'm worried, I'm banking on a little bit of panicking, and I won't have as much time to exercise, but I think I will cherish all of the things I do have and the time I gain through productivity even more than I already do.

Tomorrow is the first day of my last year as an undergraduate.
I'm going to be freakin busy, so I hope it doesn't run away from me too quickly.

Looking back on it all, I'm glad I am at CofC, with the people I am with.
I can't imagine being as happy as I am now.

balance

I went with the parentals to see Eat, Pray, Love the other day (I def pushed the movie choice) and I loved it.
I marveled while she was in Italy - I was just there! So I could fo'sho relate to the things that she was seeing and doing. Water fountains, mounds of pizza, Piazza Navona, the Colosseum, sunsets on bridges - I was there less than one week ago and it was wonderful to see it from a different lens than my own.
It was wonderful to see someone else standing and looking around in awe.
I know what it feels like, and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.

I cried when she was in India - I was just there!
But I cried because I really do understand what it is like to see the madness that is India. It made me cry because I was so happy to see it again. I loved seeing the crowded streets, the turbaned heads, countless men on bikes, children in the streets, cows lumbering through traffic, women waltzing with baskets on their heads, colorful saris and early morning sun, the sunset casting a rosy glow over the people and smoke. I can still smell it.
I know what it feels like to step into a meditation session, to see the bodies in movement, the feel the vibrations of the chants through the walls and the body of the person next to you.
I miss seeing devotion, and people trying to be better because they want to be better people, because they understand that they can change their lives merely through the power of thought, kindness, forgiveness.
I miss feeling that the Universe really does understand. That I am part of the Universe and it is part of me. I miss trying to make that connection.
I miss trying to be that person.
I loved seeing the place that I love and miss so much.
There wasn't a single day I didn't wake up and just look around me, completely in awe of my surroundings, of my life.
There isn't a single day that goes by that I don't think about India.

I consider this a good thing.
I am so wonderfully happy that I enjoyed my time in India.

I brought a lot of things back with me from India, but the one thing that I should have been on the lookout for the whole time, the one thing I should have tried harder to acquire, is balance.
I have plenty of outward balance.
I should have worked harder for inner peace, for clarity of mind, for connection with the universe and letting go of all my troubles, to let the universe take care of everything.



There was also this really funny, but relate-able preview (we LOVE previews and we refuse to miss them) where this guy is standing across from this man who is giving him really bad news and the guy says, "Stop. Just stop. Do you really want me to literally run away from my problems?"
and then he takes off running in the opposite direction.
I thought this was hysterical/poignant.
I would seriously love to literally run away from the things I consider problems/issues/concerns.
I want to figure out that space where I know what is important to worry, stress about, pout about, cry about, instead of the petty concerns and issues I have.
There are so many things I would like to just run away from as past as possible.

Nowadays, if I cry, they tend to be tears of happiness. This, I think, is a good thing.

just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I'm hurt

I don't tend to like Coldplay, but I really like their song, Lost.
Reminds me a but of U2, maybe?

Today I got a much appreciated phone call from my long lost friend, Jesse Lee.
He is certainly one of the people I wish hadn't disappeared in the great Move. There is nothing like picking up the phone to hear the voice of someone you haven't heard the voice of in 1, maybe 2 years and being able to pick up almost where you left off.

ok, more later.
sorry i'm always starting and never finishing.

PDA and pickpockets, venuses and penisus

Italy itself is an intriguing place.
But it wasn't until the end of the trip while looking up at the frescoes of the St. Agnes in Agony Chiese while listening to Baroque era music on the outskirts of Piazza Navona, however, that it struck me that once again, as it often does at the last minute, that I was doing one of those things that I had always always read about and fantasized doing. It truly occurred to me the level of amazing-ness that was happening. The centuries, the talent, the insight, the passion it had taken to produce what I was looking at, what I was able to appreciate, what I am able to appreciate now, in 2010.

Until last night, every day and night spent in Rome was simultaneously fun but far too trying to be appreciated. Rome is not my favorite place on earth.
Too many people - too many tourists, too many angry residents.
I spent my time being herded from place to place, and not always out of tour group choice.
I got too resentful of not being able to be, to stand, to think on my own because of the enormous mass of humanity who had no care for what was happening around them.

Rome, I have decided in another sweeping generalization, doesn't give a shit.
The people in Rome, they don't give a shit about you, or anybody else.
And while there, I didn't give a shit about anybody else, either.
And that is what I disliked about Rome the most.

In the short time span of one week in Rome, with some interspersed trips out of the city, I lost sight of my compassion and understanding and interest in human beings.
I cared as little for the next person as they did for me.
Mere coexistence.

I had always dreamed of staring up at The Creation. But seeing people on pamphlets and in books standing and gazing peacefully and thoughtfully, having the time to process and appreciate what they are seeing is very different from reality.
I was just another cow being herded around in unsanitary air conditions being knocked over by other cows that deserved to be standing in my much sought after position more than myself.
It seems to me that many of the things that are a Must See in Rome are being far too capitalized upon.
When visitors can't even enjoy what they are doing and seeing and would rather just Get Out than spend time appreciating what is there... something is wrong.

But this is just the first entry on my trip -
so many things happened, I can't put it all in right now.

A little taste:
Italians are PDA prone.
My father was pickpocketed and all of his money taken. In this manner, Rome sucks, and we couldn't
even walk around and enjoy doing certain things out of fear.
We took a lot of venus and penis gallery tours. Except for that one crazy priest who went around covering up genitalia and/or chopping it all off with a hammer, there were clearly a lot of lusty Romans/Italians who once upon a time had no qualms about nudity.
We took a wine tasting, and rented a car to tour around in.
That was quite the Adventure....

More to come!