I went with the parentals to see Eat, Pray, Love the other day (I def pushed the movie choice) and I loved it.
I marveled while she was in Italy - I was just there! So I could fo'sho relate to the things that she was seeing and doing. Water fountains, mounds of pizza, Piazza Navona, the Colosseum, sunsets on bridges - I was there less than one week ago and it was wonderful to see it from a different lens than my own.
It was wonderful to see someone else standing and looking around in awe.
I know what it feels like, and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.
I cried when she was in India - I was just there!
But I cried because I really do understand what it is like to see the madness that is India. It made me cry because I was so happy to see it again. I loved seeing the crowded streets, the turbaned heads, countless men on bikes, children in the streets, cows lumbering through traffic, women waltzing with baskets on their heads, colorful saris and early morning sun, the sunset casting a rosy glow over the people and smoke. I can still smell it.
I know what it feels like to step into a meditation session, to see the bodies in movement, the feel the vibrations of the chants through the walls and the body of the person next to you.
I miss seeing devotion, and people trying to be better because they want to be better people, because they understand that they can change their lives merely through the power of thought, kindness, forgiveness.
I miss feeling that the Universe really does understand. That I am part of the Universe and it is part of me. I miss trying to make that connection.
I miss trying to be that person.
I loved seeing the place that I love and miss so much.
There wasn't a single day I didn't wake up and just look around me, completely in awe of my surroundings, of my life.
There isn't a single day that goes by that I don't think about India.
I consider this a good thing.
I am so wonderfully happy that I enjoyed my time in India.
I brought a lot of things back with me from India, but the one thing that I should have been on the lookout for the whole time, the one thing I should have tried harder to acquire, is balance.
I have plenty of outward balance.
I should have worked harder for inner peace, for clarity of mind, for connection with the universe and letting go of all my troubles, to let the universe take care of everything.
There was also this really funny, but relate-able preview (we LOVE previews and we refuse to miss them) where this guy is standing across from this man who is giving him really bad news and the guy says, "Stop. Just stop. Do you really want me to literally run away from my problems?"
and then he takes off running in the opposite direction.
I thought this was hysterical/poignant.
I would seriously love to literally run away from the things I consider problems/issues/concerns.
I want to figure out that space where I know what is important to worry, stress about, pout about, cry about, instead of the petty concerns and issues I have.
There are so many things I would like to just run away from as past as possible.
