I have less than a week before I travel to Malta for my independent study.
ahh!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The world at large
I'm not really up on my futbol - I mean, I went on the FIFA website to see if India was playing (they aren't) but there is one thing that I know about futbol - it has recently brought a lot of the world together. Not everyone is participating in the World Cup, and that's ok. A country's strength does not lay solely in it's ability to produce great athletes, but I do love that so many people are so excited and involved in the World Cup process.
I love that in the wake of the World Cup, there have been camps set up for disadvantaged youth in portions in Africa, and that these children are getting the chance to play soccer, have full meals, and learn about HIV/AIDS. Children are the future, and I'm so incredibly happy to see that people are working to ensure their success.
Shakira's song is pretty catchy, too.
It reminds me of the Commonwealth Games that Delhi was so frantically preparing for. It makes me happy to see people working (if for disillusioned reasons and in strange ways sometimes) towards making their home a better place.
More than crying at the FIFA website for reasons that are a bit unknown, my mind is being blown everyday I work at the museum.
I'm working with artifacts from a certain time period - the Middle Pleistocene period. This is also known as the Ionian Stage, a geological period that was (prepare yourself) roughly about 781-126 thousand years ago.
I am touching, washing, documenting these artifacts. Can you even imagine the world being that old? Can you imagine the person that found these items?! His name was H.W. Seton-Karr and the artifacts I am working with are things he found near Madras in India. You just know that he was most certainly Indiana Jones.
It just absolutely blows my mind that there is evidence of how OLD the earth is and how there is clear evidence of humanity at that time.
I simply cannot fathom life, daily routines, speech, rituals, EXISTENCE at that time.
This world is an amazing place.
I love that in the wake of the World Cup, there have been camps set up for disadvantaged youth in portions in Africa, and that these children are getting the chance to play soccer, have full meals, and learn about HIV/AIDS. Children are the future, and I'm so incredibly happy to see that people are working to ensure their success.
Shakira's song is pretty catchy, too.
It reminds me of the Commonwealth Games that Delhi was so frantically preparing for. It makes me happy to see people working (if for disillusioned reasons and in strange ways sometimes) towards making their home a better place.
More than crying at the FIFA website for reasons that are a bit unknown, my mind is being blown everyday I work at the museum.
I'm working with artifacts from a certain time period - the Middle Pleistocene period. This is also known as the Ionian Stage, a geological period that was (prepare yourself) roughly about 781-126 thousand years ago.
I am touching, washing, documenting these artifacts. Can you even imagine the world being that old? Can you imagine the person that found these items?! His name was H.W. Seton-Karr and the artifacts I am working with are things he found near Madras in India. You just know that he was most certainly Indiana Jones.
It just absolutely blows my mind that there is evidence of how OLD the earth is and how there is clear evidence of humanity at that time.
I simply cannot fathom life, daily routines, speech, rituals, EXISTENCE at that time.
This world is an amazing place.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Lately there has been this feeling of discontent, antsy-ness, disappointment
and i'm not sure what it stems from
except a long list of places in my life where I could have done things differently
I am so incredibly proud of my friend right now, Jesse Lee. He has set off across the US on a solar and energy powered tricycle that he and his friend built while in Costa Rica and they are raising money to send to Sri Lankan schools as part of Elon's service program, the Periclean Scholars.
I couldn't be happier for him, because he is an amazing person doing an amazing thing. I hope that he comes out of this experience fulfilled from his work, because he should be proud. He is truly being a world partner.
I should have taken more advantage of my surroundings and opportunities to help make the world a better place during my time in India.
This is a major disappointment, because this is very important to me.
Some might call that the "American syndrome," where as an American, I believe I can change and fix the world's problems. But I have always wanted to play a part in the world - I have always wanted to know the world and help where help was wanted and needed. It is too bad that I was in a country that would have loved my help and I didn't give it all I had.
This is a disappointment.
I met a special little girl the other day - I was told that I had a "shadow."
Her name was Sabriany, and she was adopted by some contra friends.
The thing about having this adorable little shadow was the weird struggle between extreme happiness and emptiness that went so deep, it made my chest hurt. I'm saddened by this, because there is nothing more that I wanted to do than pick this child up and tote her around.
I am at that age where I will soon graduate and my friends will freak out about the future, and they will start that long chain of weekend weddings and baby showers and tea parties with their little girls and little league games with their boys.
And I will be doing all of this attending. But I have never felt like that would be my lifestyle.
This hurts, because what do you say to the people that want that with you, but that you aren't sure you can give back? What happens next, for those women who have never felt they would be able to fill the shoes of wife and mother?
It makes me sad that I am a woman, who, by evolution and historical stigmas, was made to bear children and to be a mother - but I have never had any inclination or warm fuzzy feelings of the idea of having my own family and child. I like borrowing people's sleeping baby or directing cute 4 yr olds to the brownie plate, but I have never felt any motherly instincts kick in, ever.
Yes, this leaves me with a big whole, when I think about it.
I talk to some people who can't wait to get married, have a kid, see it off to kindergarten and have a picket fence and security and that's all they need.
But I absolutely cannot relate.
Now, I love the idea of decorating a house, having a certain sense of permanence, and even coming home to someone and spending the rest of my life with them. I would even love, absolutely adore, being able to adopt.
And I can't really distinguish why I don't even think twice about adopting, even while I'm fairly certain I have never had any desire to have my own child.
It hurts to think about that. How many other women are there out there can't ever see themselves having a child of their own?
I must be defective. I wish that weren't true, but it feels like the right statement.
and i'm not sure what it stems from
except a long list of places in my life where I could have done things differently
I am so incredibly proud of my friend right now, Jesse Lee. He has set off across the US on a solar and energy powered tricycle that he and his friend built while in Costa Rica and they are raising money to send to Sri Lankan schools as part of Elon's service program, the Periclean Scholars.
I couldn't be happier for him, because he is an amazing person doing an amazing thing. I hope that he comes out of this experience fulfilled from his work, because he should be proud. He is truly being a world partner.
I should have taken more advantage of my surroundings and opportunities to help make the world a better place during my time in India.
This is a major disappointment, because this is very important to me.
Some might call that the "American syndrome," where as an American, I believe I can change and fix the world's problems. But I have always wanted to play a part in the world - I have always wanted to know the world and help where help was wanted and needed. It is too bad that I was in a country that would have loved my help and I didn't give it all I had.
This is a disappointment.
I met a special little girl the other day - I was told that I had a "shadow."
Her name was Sabriany, and she was adopted by some contra friends.
The thing about having this adorable little shadow was the weird struggle between extreme happiness and emptiness that went so deep, it made my chest hurt. I'm saddened by this, because there is nothing more that I wanted to do than pick this child up and tote her around.
I am at that age where I will soon graduate and my friends will freak out about the future, and they will start that long chain of weekend weddings and baby showers and tea parties with their little girls and little league games with their boys.
And I will be doing all of this attending. But I have never felt like that would be my lifestyle.
This hurts, because what do you say to the people that want that with you, but that you aren't sure you can give back? What happens next, for those women who have never felt they would be able to fill the shoes of wife and mother?
It makes me sad that I am a woman, who, by evolution and historical stigmas, was made to bear children and to be a mother - but I have never had any inclination or warm fuzzy feelings of the idea of having my own family and child. I like borrowing people's sleeping baby or directing cute 4 yr olds to the brownie plate, but I have never felt any motherly instincts kick in, ever.
Yes, this leaves me with a big whole, when I think about it.
I talk to some people who can't wait to get married, have a kid, see it off to kindergarten and have a picket fence and security and that's all they need.
But I absolutely cannot relate.
Now, I love the idea of decorating a house, having a certain sense of permanence, and even coming home to someone and spending the rest of my life with them. I would even love, absolutely adore, being able to adopt.
And I can't really distinguish why I don't even think twice about adopting, even while I'm fairly certain I have never had any desire to have my own child.
It hurts to think about that. How many other women are there out there can't ever see themselves having a child of their own?
I must be defective. I wish that weren't true, but it feels like the right statement.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
lack of updates not due to drinking bacterial water
"You probably don't know who you just met - That was Marvin Veronee. He is one of the few remaining Iwo Jima veterans. He was a Ltn. in the Navy, ya know?"
The lack of updates is not due to being run over by a horse drawn tourist carriage, or being stuck in the Charleston plough-mud - I don't have the internetsss and I've been supah busy.
We moved into our new apartment on Tuesday - great place with high ceilings, 2 porches, a studio-like living area and several of my favorite people, but we will all know when someone indulges in a midnight romp.
It is very not-soundproof. I am, however, still using my India-mind (I'm thrilled to say) and issues of privacy are no longer issues of privacy. I can easily push through just about anything without being affected at all, and what happens, happens.
Today I started my internship at the museum - which is a marvelous place full of interesting people, weird hair, and history displays - 3 things that I hold near and dear to my heart. Despite my love of this people who have put me in front of a tub of artifacts hooked up to wires performing electrolysis and snapping photos and helping out with museum sleepovers, the museum is a very very cold place. My internal temperature system remains dysfunctional.
I have beautiful friends performing in beautiful artistic endeavors, while I tromp around Charleston being a Spoleto-ean. I couldn't be happier right now, except that I wish I had been around for auditions and could up on stage, too. Also that I could find my bike key so I could get to places quicker than my calloused feet will take me, but oh well.
I am constantly amazed at the unbound talent that my friends possess, and that of the people I watch.
I'm sad that my brother is gone - because now everyone is off doing all those things that I wish I were still doing.
Alaska - Adam has it covered.
farming in Nepal - Jessica and Emily are digging deep
traveling around the Middle East - Nicole is flaunting it
Living in Asia - ok, Jenny.
Tickets to Malta - $1,304
ouch.
The lack of updates is not due to being run over by a horse drawn tourist carriage, or being stuck in the Charleston plough-mud - I don't have the internetsss and I've been supah busy.
We moved into our new apartment on Tuesday - great place with high ceilings, 2 porches, a studio-like living area and several of my favorite people, but we will all know when someone indulges in a midnight romp.
It is very not-soundproof. I am, however, still using my India-mind (I'm thrilled to say) and issues of privacy are no longer issues of privacy. I can easily push through just about anything without being affected at all, and what happens, happens.
Today I started my internship at the museum - which is a marvelous place full of interesting people, weird hair, and history displays - 3 things that I hold near and dear to my heart. Despite my love of this people who have put me in front of a tub of artifacts hooked up to wires performing electrolysis and snapping photos and helping out with museum sleepovers, the museum is a very very cold place. My internal temperature system remains dysfunctional.
I have beautiful friends performing in beautiful artistic endeavors, while I tromp around Charleston being a Spoleto-ean. I couldn't be happier right now, except that I wish I had been around for auditions and could up on stage, too. Also that I could find my bike key so I could get to places quicker than my calloused feet will take me, but oh well.
I am constantly amazed at the unbound talent that my friends possess, and that of the people I watch.
I'm sad that my brother is gone - because now everyone is off doing all those things that I wish I were still doing.
Alaska - Adam has it covered.
farming in Nepal - Jessica and Emily are digging deep
traveling around the Middle East - Nicole is flaunting it
Living in Asia - ok, Jenny.
Tickets to Malta - $1,304
ouch.
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