Life in the East is hitting far closer to home than I ever thought.
Living in the terrorist magnet otherwise known as the USA, yet protected by the naivety of South Caroline, terrorist threats were an issue that were never really an issue - not more than comments on television, pictures of destruction in the news, overly protective parents pulling their kids out of middle school in a rural South Caroline town. Heartbreaking, but distant. I remained directly unaffected.
But I don't live in South Carolina anymore.
And I'm not naive anymore.
This shit's real.
I'm glad I have been given the chance to get over my naivety - to really and truly see, understand, take part in daily life and emotions on the other side of the globe, yet there is nothing more I want than for everyone to know and enjoy the naivety I once possessed.
To live a life constantly in fear is not a life at all.
I spent the last week completely at the mercy of strangers willing to fill in two lone females traveling through terrorist targeted Kolkata (Calcutta).
The advice:
stay out of known tourist spots
no bars
get stocked on food, water, money
wait it out
As I stared at the ceiling of my stopped train somewhere in the middle of West Bengal by a group of communist protestors standing on the railroad tracks in an All-India bandh, we get a phone call from our Indian mother that our friend took the soonest flight out of Hyderabad.
He, his girlfriend, and another friend were beaten up in a bar in Bangkok, Thailand.
Apparently there was a gang attack by Red Shirts on the 3 of them - the girl ended up down a staircase and in the hospital needing stitches, the guys came back into consciousness in a world where nobody would help them get the help they needed for the scars and cuts they endured.
All three of these students have sent off for the US.
We get news that Calcutta is the next terrorist target in India - here is an article in the paper listing all of the evidence that points to why the tourist spots and the train station and airport are the most likely targets.
We are advised to stay out of the public. Lucky us, this is day 3 for us.
Our next stop is the airport, 6 am.
We end up in an internet cafe giving our fingerprints up for identification. It's "protocol."
My emails are disappointing.
Travel warnings/alerts are blocking me from Thailand and Nepal. There is to be no unnecessary travel to Thailand. Understanding the culture is "unnecessary."
There will be no traveling to Nepal - they have just let 20 terrorists into India, and are blaming it on the poor Indian border control.
Goodbye volunteer work.
Due to recent events, my field school/research program in Bangkok has been canceled.
Goodbye recently booked non-refundable roundway tickets to Paris and Bangkok.
Goodbye over $1000.
Goodbye much needed academic ncredits.
Goodbye scholarship.
Goodbye easier access to post-graduation anth. jobs.
Most of all, Goodbye to Asia.
Hello to life back in a place I knew in a life I never understood until know.
Hello to understanding the term, "fearing for life."
Goodbye to comfort and "understanding."
I'm incredibly disappointed in the turn that my summer has taken - instead of traveling, exploring, living and learning in several different foreign cultures, I will be (as of this moment) back in South Carolina.I can't wrap m head around how rapid these changes have occurred.
Yet I completely agree.
My project isn't the only one canceled because of the world - field schools in Mexico are being canceled as a US consulate was killed at the Texas border and it is unsafe.
Riane and I joke, but we are serious - the world feels like it is ending. How old is the earth?
A week ago, I was set to be trekking in the Himalayas, and coming back for an exciting time in France and Thailand until July.
Today, I am disappointed in a great many things. My disappointment is more or less directly focused on the world, and on the level of horrible events that can occur to innocent people, much of which beyond their control.
Today, I'm preparing to head home.
If you care, I'll be at the Atlanta airport at 2 pm on Thursday, May 6th.
Home to South Carolina, where I will have to deal with things I would rather not, with people that I want to forget about, memories that I want to disappear forever, places that I couldn't care about being in for another summer, rent, a non-existent job, familiar sights, etc. etc. etc.
I am just having trouble fathoming what it is like to actually be affected by this type of event, on a daily basis. Never before have I been on constant watch or had bodyguards. Never before have I had to change my route due to unforeseen and undeniably horrible worldwide situations.
Selfishly, I can't help think about what I have lost in the decision to just go home.
Meanwhile, I understand that I can go home to SC and be safe once more while there are millions that live with threats like this everyday.
Hopefully, I'll move back to the US and get a second chance to travel India, be in Paris on my birthday with my family, and study rites, rituals and myths in Bangkok.
Hopefully, the world will be a happier, healthier, safer place to live for anyone and everyone.
That's a tall order. It all feels so dark right now.
I've been directly affected by huge accusations and actions.
This is me linked to the real world - understanding and sharing the pain and the fear and the disappointment.
It's one of the things I wanted - perhaps not the way I wanted to find it out.
Currently, it all feels very... hellish.
