I'm home now.
i'm not even sure i understand that.
I'm still trying to process everything, of what my experience has meant to me, and how it has changed me.
INDIA
Why: to see what I was capable of doing, handling
Why: to get away from the things that have memories and feelings attached, things that used to make me happy that nowadays, still only make sad
Why: to know more than SC
What I've found out: I am very capable, and very able of being on my own, away from the familiar. But I don't think I ever really doubted myself - I think I doubted myself when others made me feel like I couldn't.
What I've found out: It doesn't matter when you come back - 4 months, 6 months, 1 year - places and things still have a stigma, a concept, an idea, a permanent place in your memory and senses that no matter how hard you wish something had never happened, had never existed, it still did and you still feel it. And it isn't going away. It will forever be there.
What I've found out: I was able to slip right back into daily life in SC without a hitch. There are tons of new stories that are sparked by various sights, conversation topics, eating habits, fashion habits, animals, cars, etc. There are a few lifestyle changes - and I hope they stick.
I hope that just because I'm back and able to be a part of society so quickly without being ridiculous doesn't mean that I will quickly and easily forget my time in such an unforgettable place, with amazing people, doing mind-blowing things.
What I've found out: The one and only reason I'm ok with that fact that I've had to come back is because of my family. I'm very glad I am with them - but I'm hightailing it out of here again, asap.
