It's an anywhere road for anybody anyhow. Where body how?

The thing about traveling is that as long as you aren't headed anywhere in particular, but you are just going THERE, then everything is fine. It doesn't matter that you are sitting on someone's lap carsick going down a mountain, or in the sun soaked window seat on a packed bus where people are standing and the woman who sat down next to you is possibly the only overfed Indian in India laughing hysterically at the entire ridiculous situation, or that your elephant isn't paying attention to its Hindi commands and only wants to eat leaves, or that your bicycle has a horrible tilt because you are going THERE and THERE is exactly where you want to be even if you have no idea what to expect or where, really, THERE happens to be.

THERE can be on a completely unhygienic massage table completely naked being scissor chopped on your butt bruise from a tumble down a staircase earlier that the masseuse can CLEARLY see or in the middle of a tiger preserve with 2 Indians with a horrible sense of direction that gave you a ride or sitting on a train headed to where the sun rises in the same place the sun sets and 3 great bodies of water collide over rocks from the Little Mermaid or lying on top of Tata tea plants having a photoshoot with a wannabe photographer but happens to only be a rickshaw driver and again, THERE... THERE can be just about anywhere but when you are THERE, it is, at that moment, the best place to be.

During the course of our trip, Riane and I discovered that we are capable of doing quite a lot of things, and make the best of it.

Cockroaches in the bathroom? Leave the door open.
Monkey family on the balcony? Leave the door closed.
Flight canceled and train 2 hours late? Eat a brownie and read a book on the ground.
Getting ripped off? Tell them that they are cheating you, rant, rave and think about how much that person probably needed that extra 100 rs ($2.00).
Lost in a tiger preserve? Don't depend on boys.
Riding bikes on major roads dominated by buses coming directly for you? Swerve.
Luggage that falls apart? Buy new luggage?
Lock the new luggage and lose the key, and find out the zipper is broken anyways? Make it a carry-on.

Ladies that comb the beach and sing songs to you about beautiful mangos, pineapples, and madams? Buy a sliced pineapple and eat in the ocean.
Not sure where to get off your bus in a country without road signs? Ask ask ask everyone around you and listen, because these people do it a lot.
Step on a crab? Take a picture of it and apologize.
Being spooned from behind by impatient Indians in a queue? Take a picture.
Finding a hotel at 10:30 at night, being white females? Lonely Planet.
Make our way safely across an entire communist state in 10 days by plane, train, car, bus, rickshaw, boat, elephant, and bike? Done and done, by just letting it happen.

And of course, on the way to THERE is some of the best part.
The way THERE can be stressful, or you can remember that you can't control it. And so the way THERE becomes very easy, and very carefree. And if you just spent 7 hours on 3 different buses traveling to THERE, it isn't a day wasted, but a day where you rode across an entire state in India and saw villages and backwaters and fruit and mountains and clouds and daily life and processions and the sun set and the children play and relished in the smiles and the help and even in being able to see close up the sad, tired eyes of a woman tired from work commuting an hour back home as she climbs the stairs with bags heavier than she is.

The question of the week was Why Not? and Why Not? Why couldn't that be the question? We had nowhere to be but THERE so everything was a-go.

I've finished reading On the Road for about the zillionith time and now, a few quotes that I can now truly relate to, instead of just reading the book that defined a generation, a generation full of actions and experiences that I never thought I could know.

Carnival man to Dean and Sal --> "You boys going somewhere, or just going?" We didn't understand his question, and it was a damned good question.

Dean --> "Now dammit, look here, all of you, we all must admit that everything is fine and there's no need in the world to worry, and in fact we should realize what it would mean to us to UNDERSTAND that we're not REALLY worried about ANYTHING. Am I right?" We all agreed.

Dean --> " Now, Sal, we're leaving everything behind us and entering a new and unknown phase of things. All the years and troubles and kicks - and now this! so that we can safely think of nothing else and just go on ahead with our faces stuck out like this, you see, and understand the world as, really and genuinely speaking, other Americans haven't done before us - they were here, weren't they?"

I need to say, though, is that as much as I like On The Road, I feel so sad for these characters.
I get all caught up in the story so often. My mind races and I'm gone, just like everything else in and related to On The Road and then I hate the book. And I hate the characters. And I hate myself for loving it so much, when all I do is end up feeling so sorry for those that can't figure out what they are looking for, and spend so much time looking, they forget what they have and lose it all.
They themselves feel so sad, because it is a sad life they led.

And so, more to come.
Definitely more pictures. And more explanations and trip details and yea, all of those things.

I'M BACKKKKKKK!!!!!

miss me?

Will update soon, but updating 10 days worth of sights, sounds, pictures, quotes, convos, deep thoughts, books, food, etc.
.... is a lot to cover.

Prepare yourselves.

Heartbreak Warfare

If you haven't read the news, there are approximately 500 Christians - women, children and older adults mainly - that were attacked and killed with machetes by Muslim neighbors over the weekend.
These people were hacked to death.
They say that one large underlying issue is the debate over land, poverty, and resources.

My heart is breaking for Nigeria.

There is so much violence, and it comes in so many forms. But it is physical violence that I despise the most, and absolutely do not tolerate.

But besides my heart hurting for Nigeria, my heart hurts for the many Muslims that had no part in this dispute, or any other. During my time in India, I have met many Muslims - I walk with them, eat with them, talk with them, sit in class next to them. I hear their call to worship in the morning, as the light streams in and night, when the sky is glowing a beautiful red. I see them living peacefully among so many other religions here in India, respected. I pass them on Friday mornings, as they calmly walk to the mosque in their best white outfit. As I understand it, the majority of Muslims are striving to live a virtuous life full of good deeds, and of peace.

I know it is a dark spot in their faith, that these radicals have given many reasons for the Muslim community to be under constant scrutiny and looked upon with suspicion.


In other news, today is International Women's Day.
Here in Hyderabad, we got flower garlands. Parliament also just passed a bill that has 1/3 of the legislative seats reserved for women. Change is a-comin!


Also happening today were campus protests for two different reasons - yesterday, some students were putting up posters (I never got what the posters were about) and they were beaten. I do not know how severely, but that is beside the point. There is Freedom of Expression that needs to be observed.
Students were in the halls, yelling, chanting, banging on doors.
Some students elsewhere locked the doors of the Social Sciences building - The students refused to go to class but the student hostels all woke up this morning without running water. I don't know the outcome, and our hostel was not affected. I don't know why.
Either way, there is no excuse for anyone to go without water. I know water is in short supply all over the world, but it is essential to life.
I don't know the reason for the water shortage. I know we have scheduled power outages to help conserve what little energy India has. Denying power - washing machines, internet, air conditioning - is more understandable.
Denying water, for whatever reason, is not.


A lot of things have been going on lately, with a lot of different feelings.

In my world, I've been dancing a lot in my head.
Maybe it is how I meditate, but I tend to take the things I think about, the emotions I feel, the actions around me and I think of it dancing terms, motions, choreography.
I explore how I would best explain and describe through emotion, connections, movement.
And then it just disappears most of the time. I take what works, I leave what doesn't, I put in the bank what has potential but isn't necessary at the moment.


Sorry there have been no pictures lately - but I am about to take off on a ten day trip to the coast where I will be sleeping in a houseboat, riding elephants, canoeing on backwaters, relaxing on the beach.
I could be a world traveler, just going to find and research all of the things I like and places I want.
I find it very agreeable.

Allyn Wong.
Occupation: Explorer, Adventurer, Anthropologist, Dancer

I just received sad news from home, that a girl, Jessica Weir, whom I knew through the contra community tragically died in a car accident last Saturday.

Since I have been in India, 2 people from communities that I am well connected with have passed away, in horrible ways. A close friend of mine just received news of a sad death by brain tumor from home, and another friend has a father in critical care due to severe fire burns.

It doesn't matter what people say, when they tell you that when you go away, you will come back to the same things and you will be the changed person, wondering why everything is still the same.
And in the huge, world picture this may be the case.

But for those that these tragedies directly affect... their lives are changed forever, too.

Life doesn't matter where you are and how worried you are about missing things from home.

Things change. Life goes on.

Abroad or home, the news still hurts.

Family times

We spent the day with Sumana and her mother in the kitchen learning to cook today.
On the menu:
Naan, samosas, tofu and paneer with chutney, salad, gulab jamun and our juice of choice, mixed with sprite.
Indian food is no easy task.
Seriously, we spent the entire day there. We almost missed dinner at the house because we were still at Sumana's.
We got there at 11. We cooked cooked cooked until 1:30 and the first child came home. We ate lunch and drank tea until the 2nd child home at 4 and then when it was time to take them swimming at 5. We were there when dance practice began and we were there when the hubby came home at 6.

Being in the kitchen, listening to Sumana and her mother communicate in mother-daughter language and then seeing Sumana deal with her kids and then with other moms at the pool and then her husband... it gave me a glimpse of what daily life is like in India. Granted, this is a pretty privileged family but it was still daily life.
I forgot what it was like to have a daily life like that.
My days are so strange compared to what they used to be.
I forgot what it was like to be a child and to have a billion afternoon activities and mothers and fathers that bring you clean clothes from the line, or fix you an afternoon glass of apple juice and provide you with an afternoon snack, or pinch your thigh for not saying please and thank you. I forgot what it was like to splash around in a pool and beg for ice cream after, despite the shivers. I forgot what it was like for my mom to remind me to wear shoes, and to stop throwing things around the house.

But then again, I wasn't really that child and I never had that life so I guess I didn't forget too much, it just seemed strange to me to be around children again, and see parent-small child interaction.

That sounds bad - I had a great childhood. But I did not spend my afternoons in the pool or eating samosas or talking with mom's study abroad kids from the US.
From the time I can really remember, I was always on such a move, moving from so many activities, eventually settling on gymnastics, that my parents couldn't keep up. I had their complete support, but we didn't have all of the time in the world, and they couldn't be everywhere they wanted to be at all times. So technically, being in India should not make me feel sad for missing out of family time because I can't say I gave myself too much time for that.

The hardest part was being in the kitchen, listening to Sumana and her mom chatting, bossing each other around, asking questions, warning us, laughing with us, sharing with us.
Mother-daughter chatter is something I have grown up with, with Momma's fam - there is a bunch of cooking and bossing and questions and warnings and laughter. There is a lot of laughter. And sharing. There is never a dull moment, but everyone talking at once and trying to do everything and just be... a big happy family that knows just about everything about everyone else and find joy in moments like cooking time.
But especially mother-daughter time... when you realize that you do wear the same things and laugh the same way and make the same faces and cleaning the new apartment and drinking coffee in bed, and how you know what the other is thinking and talking in the same voice to animals, and how you know what the other wants to drink and how yes, sharing the cookie is a good idea... but it is a better idea to get two, just in case.
And yea... mother daughter things.

Sumana told us about her own mother-daughter times... after her second child, Anee, was born, Kavaliya her daughter was feeling neglected and so Sumana said, let's go out, just the two of us.
And apparently they were wearing matching clothes that day, jeans or something, and they were just doing basic errands... but they stopped at a book store and for hours, perused the book store, just the two of them.
Now Kavaliya asks when they are going to have Girls day out again, and of course, what they are going to wear.

Today was kind of like being with family just chatting and cooking and eating and helping... all the things you do with your family, because they are our family here, the closest thing we have to a family here.

And I loved that.
I loved today.
It made me very happy and sad, in such a wonderful way.

I'm very, very, very glad that I can relate.

lovelove.

 (p.s. the family loved our cooking!)

Check, Check, Check it out!

Mizz Riane has two new articles up on Politics Daily.
CopyPaste into yo addressbar, please

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/03/03/eve-teasing-in-india-fighting-for-change-as-sexual-violence-g/


http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/02/25/telangana-protests-student-suicides-increase-in-hyderabad-durin/



 On another note, it has been decided that what I appreciate most about India...
is that while, yes, India's government, and a few other things, happen to be corrupt... not all of India is corrupt.

There are no big Walmart empires (minus Tata) but individually owned businesses, shops, and family success secrets. There is no big "green" movement because pesticides are not used, everything is fresh, and there are big green fields full of hard working individuals and natural food.  They utilize solar power.... it is about all they have. They send glass bottles back to factories to be reused. They take what they have and they use it to the best of their abilities. People from all over the place, doing everything and anything, from all sorts of economic, social, religious backgrounds are living not always in complete harmony, but there isn't the petty fighting that is happening in the US and other places.

All in all, India does not have to be first or best. India does what is right and good for India, and everyone minds their own business, unless you are a foreigner and then your life story must be known.
That is not to say or to misunderstand Indian plights and issues, but there are a lot of good things happening in India that are just natural. I hope it stays this way, in this sense.

One common perception of Americans is that Americans live to work, not work to live.
And yea, Americans get so obsessed, so caught up in little things, and they make things matter that maybe... maybe they just don't need to be worried about all of the time.

In India, people work to live... and it keeps everyday people much more... honest. and humble. and likable. and healthy.
overall health and well being.

Must be all of that yoga.


Also, check out the AIFS Hyd blog:

http://www.aifshyd.blogspot.com/

I and Love and You

Your dreams to catch, the world the cage
The highway sets the travelers stage
All exits look the same

Happy Holi!!

Ok, sorry, I just posted 4 posts about the same weekend.
It was necessary.

This is us at 10 a.m. this morning.

This is us at 11:45 am

 

Today was Holi, the festival of colors.

Everyone gets up early and "plays."

We all went out with colored powder and water and just... threw it on each other.

I don't have action pics, I didn't want my camera to get ruined.

My face is still fuschia. 

  

Us with Abhishek and Gori.

It was a super fun day.

People would just walk up to us and smear color on us, or throw it on us as we rode our bikes by.

and they would yell, every person we passed,

HAPPY HOLI!!!

It is the best festival/celebration out there.

and then we added Ellora

Sunday:

Ellora was even more impressive than Ajanta.

First though, we stopped for a scenic group picture (this is a modeling heavy picture blog post.)

 

Hahaha we should this picture to Kristen... her only comment when Tyler complained about her lack of enthusiasm... "I look like a cop."

ahahahahah so true

This entire trip, Riane and I got in immense trouble for being "gigglers." Not trouble, but it was commented on how it was great and perfect that we found each other... people just can't let it go that we are like the same person and we met randomly in India.

Anywho...
Ellora is not just caves. Ellora is also a huge temple created, carved in one solid piece, out of the side of the mountain. The Ellora temple has mezzanines, archways, huge elephants and animal heads, tic tac toe mini Buddhas, picture windows, shrines, changing floors, spiral staircases, huge pillars, giant Buddhas.
All one solid piece of mountain.
We had to walk to all of them - some of them deep caves, some not. And the big one, the temple.
How ridiculous and amazing is that?

Also, forgive me for looking like a soccer mom in these pics.

We walked backwards. This is the last cave, like 27 or something.

 I don't know if Riane knew she had her hand on that carving's boob.

 

ahaha there was a lake at the bottom that during the monsoon season, is filled by a waterfall.

But still, no sweeming or bathing.

This is the amazing cave 16, the temple cave.

 

 

I wish I had a better point.

 

Here, you can see some of the untouched stone behind a portion of the temple.

It is like the temple, completely attached to the stone ground (and everything in it - the towers, the elephants statues, etc) was just sitting in the middle of this big half circle of rock.

 

Please look at the detail. Think about the amount of concentration and planning carving each person by hand out of a single rock took. 

I feel so bad, because I know I can't give you any sort of sense of what it was remotely like. What we were seeing was plain unbelievable. I can't capture the scale, the impressive detail, the mastery of the entire project. I just can't.

I can't do any of it justice whatsoever.

Looooook. I am not even kidding. This place was ridick.

So, then after climbing around and doing some exploring and taking some pictures with strangers, we moved on to other caves.

These are just pics from here.

 

unimpressed.

We were practicing our meditation and feeling one with the Buddha, as if he were one of us.

Those poor flip flops... they are my absolute favorite, holes in all the rights places, and I left them at the hotel.

Good thing I called and got them sent back to me! They should get here sometime soon.

cool.

 

 

Then we visited the small Taj. Still pretty big, if you ask me.

They call it the Poor Man's Taj.

hm...

Then we went back to the hotel, changed, rushed, and got to the train station an hour too early.

While there, Riane ate a disgustingly smooshed fruit and then decided to brush her teeth on the tracks. 

Right after I had taken out my contacts in front of a small child and terrified her. 

Poor thing - She is probably traumatized.

Then we rode the midnight train to Andhra Pradesh. 

And I thought.

Trains make me think. I get on them, ready to race off towards my desires but these trips have yet to fix it, whatever "it" is.

 Railway stations...

They almost make me sad, just the atmoshphere. 

I always think myself to sleep only to wake up and it is always the strangest I can remember feeling.

I don't always know who I am when I first wake up. I know that I am on a train, far away from home, tired from traveling, and around me are the most unfamiliar sites. 

Feet. Feet are everywhere, hanging off of bunks, light streaming through the window, a man is yelling "chaiiii," a pair of dark eyes peering at me from under a blanket, a low roof and a soft sway - I am always somebody different, every single time. I am headed towards my future, each passing moment is pushing my youth and my time and my chances farther away and my past is disappearing. I go to sleep one place, wake up on the other side of India.

And trains... they sound sad. There is no loud, raucous laughter, no smiles. Constant creaking, sways, mumbles.

But I like trains.

Trains give me Allyn Time.

Today, Riane bought a map and we marked off all of the places we have visited. So, we added Ajanta.

We knew when we signed up to come to India, we were going to see some of the most unique, awe inspiring things in the world.
What I failed to do, however, was recognize the human ability to create and I also underestimated the strength and character that the past of India possessed. No, still possesses.

This weekend, we stayed in this totally glam hotel at the foot of the mountains that held the most fascinating, mind blowing, absolutely ridiculously amazing caves.

 

Yea, it was cushy.

We started off Saturday going to Ajanta. The Ajanta caves are Buddhist caves carved directly into the side of a mountain. There are no additions, no stick togethers - In 18 years, these Buddhist caves, which were created to be Buddhist retreats and a monastery, were carved top to bottom, front to back with no mess ups. Pure genius planning and ability. Modern day technology and architecture is just... pathetic compared to what these ancient people did. No computers, no calculators, no lifts - pure brains and handiwork.

This is our driver, who took us everywhere, with the most ridiculous ear hair ever.

 

See it? Ew.

Ashley and Sumana wore scarves on their heads to keep the sun out - little did they know, or maybe they did - but when the wind blew and filled the scarves with air, they looked like they had giant, segmented worms on their heads. 

Loooooook. There were 31 of these. Many of them are incomplete. When the king who commissioned them to be created died, all work ceased. Funny enough, it wasn't until 1819 when British solider John Smith saw the top of one of the caves were they found again. Anyways, this John Smith... he really got around. John Smith and Pocahontas, those "Indians." and oh hey! John Smith and the real Indians.

They formed a huge mini circle.

 

A giant resting Buddha.

inside of this hall...

I just can't avoid dorkiness. I look like an uber tourist.

Anyways, this is carved inside a mountain... out of the same mountain... not brought in. It is all one piece. They had to account for the pillars, the head space, the ridge ceiling and the walls that look like this:

 

 So many details!!!!

This is me in one of the unfinished caves:

Many of the caves had paintings. But, most of the caves were dark, except some that lights had been placed in, which gives all of my pictures a nice orange glow.

Here, to get a scale of things... even though this one is on the smaller side...

 

I am oblivious to the camera.

THIS IS ALL ONE SOLID PIECE OF ROCK.

Everything single thing I took a picture of is one single piece of rock.

I still can't wrap my mind around it.

Then we hopped in the car and drove to a weaver's shop. Where I may or may not have bought some real, true, Indian silk scarves. I couldn't help it. My shopper's guilt in India is overwhelming. You can't ever take anything back to the store. So, now I have some beautiful silk scarves from India. Cool.

 

  

The weaver only moves the material one centimeter and a half a day.

Then it was dinnah time. We ate at this hysterical traditional Indian thali dinner restaurant - we were in and out in 20 minutes. They sat us down, shoved food on our plates. Then they pulled the plates out from under us and pushed us from the table.
Indian fast food.
But we got henna done and got a puppet show for free.
They even played Jai Ho from Slumdog Millionaire as part of the show, which of course we all sang and danced to because Tyler had been kind enough to sing it at 8 that morning and continued to sing it all day so we all had it stuck in our brains.


Then it was Slounge time (the bar was called "Slounge"  and we were soo ready to slounge after a long hot day.)
Anyways, after I took a beating (twice) at pool, I went to bed.
We had big huge fluffy beds that were so impossible to get out of.
It made me think of the times Mom and I have gone to various things and stayed in hotels and sometimes, we just can't get out because it is so comfortable.

But then we do and have a great time exploring wherever we are.
We all did the same thing in this situation.

Sometimes... Sometimes I wonder if this is it, if this life I am currently leading is the type of life I have always wanted to lead, only different, because those lives, those times, those experiences, those stories... well, those stories belong to their owners.

This story belongs to me.

It's different from what I imagined, if this is it. Maybe that's because we are different people interpreting things differently, or if because this isn't it. This isn't my remodeled storybook, famous novel life that I've always longed for.

How can that be? When I am doing something not new, not daring, not unusual and amazing, all of those qualities are new to my life.
And then, maybe... it's just different from what I imagined, or from the books and lives I've decided to model mine after, because I can't make up my mind. I want to be and to do and to live in so many way, I'm having trouble deciphering when I've completed one of those, if I have. I'm not talking only about milestones. Little things count, too. The little things always count.

I think, in the end, I want to have lived the life of an artist. Not any particular type of artist, but in the wholly creative way of being an artist. I want to push all boundaries. I want that life that is out of touch, that is constantly new, that is obscure and fascinating.

There are aspects, bits and pieces, of the many types of lives I want to live, that I have had a taste of. I just need to expound on them. I need more of it all.

Because, I've collected and decorated with antiques. I have retro dishes and I buy organic food, drink a cup of tea a day. I draw designs and sketch my teachers face in class. I read important plays and major philosophical ideas. I take trips on trains in India, lying in the dark, as everything I have never known rushes by. I bake in the springtime with the doors open and no shoes on. I ride on sailboats and play the piano. I dance at parties and on stage. I attend lectures on child labor and run on the beach. I water ski, and can snow ski, too. I celebrate Christmas, and Maha Shivaratri, too. I shop at Urban Outfitters, my mother's closet, and J. Crew. I would rather walk around with no clothes on, but I love old fashioned silk robes and elegant updos. I listen to John Coltrane, the Beatles, celtic music, and Explosions in the Sky. I'm learning French, Hindi and research Eastern beliefs and celebrations. I love folklore and science fiction. I take midnight bike rides and wake up early to see the sunrise.
Yet, despite all of this diversity, all of these chances and opportunities and a lifetime of doing wonderful things that I couldn't be more grateful of having and doing...

will I always be Sal Paradise and never Dean Moriarty?

Perhaps all of the striving provides great insight into my personality. Perhaps not. I leave myself open to all opportunities except for those that compromise my well being. I surround myself with the creative, mad type, and those that just... burn.

And still... I know that it is all inside me, this turmoil...?
I know, as well as I can, who I am and what I stand for.
That doesn't explain what I'm searching for, which I clearly am.

And it never changes.
Every time I lie back on that top bunk of a train that is barreling down the railway tracks, it is dark out and I don't know anything.

I don't where I am or who I am or where I am going.
But I know that if I drank a case of you, I would still be on my feet.

Just say you'll wait for me, you'll wait for me

 I found this totally ugly sock mixed in with my clothes.
It was this hideous greenish blue with oogly yellow flowers - wayy to retro for anyone to wear.
So I took it out and placed it on top of the washer cause its poor owner might want it back and because I certainly did not want it.

I am the poor owner.

 

These socks used to be the same color.

Now I have one seriously super ugly sock and one beautiful blue and white christmas sock.

I found out because I found I hadn't washed one of them - it was hiding under my bed. When I found it and I couldn't find the other, I remembered the gross one on top of the washer that was mysteriously in my clothes batch.

Just can't escape daily life.

But, I can't say when the last time I dyed my clothes was. So I guess it isn't that daily for me.

Learning to forgive India for not having bleach quickly and to get over at frustration with the washing machine for doing such a poor job, such as putting a green shirt in with white clothes and with hot water is a daily thing. 

I got over this one pretty quickly. There was clearly nothing to be done, and it is still a sock. I wouldn't wear it with shorts in public anywho. 

Now it is just funny, if kinda sad.

It is one ugly sock.

So,

we are traveling this weekend to some caves!! I'll be sure to post pictures, because it promises to be amazing.

I went to an art lecture on the art and architecture of the caves - it took 18 years to carve 31 Buddhist retreat caves into a big slab of mountain. I love lectures. They give you so much insight that you can't just get from seeing, or talking to guides. nope. Lectures, special lectures and presentations - they are usually personal projects that these people have invested in and they know a lot. sooo much. it is so intimidating to talk with people like that. I just sit in awe.

One thing though, is that I am at a university. I am always surrounded by intellectuals. everyone talks about the education level of India and while I have spent time in both an elementary government run school and a high school privately owned school - I am constantly around intellectuals. Students, teachers, researchers, people who are educated.

I haven't spent nearly the amount of time "in the field" like I thought I might, like I want. 

I am in India, but I am still looking at the world through an educational lens. I am learning about culture through academics. 

That isn't to say that I am not learning real world things. But... I don't know.

Hopefully this summer will give me what I am looking for - pure cultural immersion.

With the program I'm looking at, I will be working full time doing interviews and research on topics of my choice, but also having the opportunity to really work with non-profits and build grassroots projects from the ground up, so the natives can learn to support themselves in different way.

I hope I can help people learn to help themselves through love, kindness, guidance and assurance that it will all be ok.

Monday

I don't feel as if I have much to tell right now.


So, I'll give you a run down of my day and then tell you about the weekend (with pictures) if I feel up to:

- fell asleep on the roof today. I usually go up there in the morning when the power is out, because it is much cooler.
- ate an apple
- picked at a blister between my toes and now I can't wear flip flops
- went to classes... contemporary India, Indian Philosophy, Hindi
- went to a cultural event that the Indians from the North East put on. It involved several traditional dances and songs, a pretty exciting fashion show (seriously, a huge number of random people with phone cameras just stood by the side of the stage and snapped tons of pictures as if they were real celebrities), snacks and teatime, and my friend Pavel even sang an Oasis song. Strangely enough, India is very into Oasis and Incubus. For us, they are so 90s. (background info: the people from the North East are on the border of Nepal, and look pretty Chinese-ish. So, they are often discriminated against, because they consider themselves Indians {and they are} even though they don't look it. They are super Westernized {clothes, American English} because for a long time, Christian missionaries took great interest in them and provided them with education, shelter, protection, etc. Now they are fairly Americanized and all are very Christiany, and it doesn't always seem that they have much connection with other Indians. In fact, universities and colleges have special funds for under represented/ostracized groups, etc. and reserved spots for these students so they cannot be discriminated against. Still, they do have their own traditional song and dances.) Makes me a little sad for the US... as the melting pot, what is truly ours? What would we show at a cultural event that didn't have its roots in some other culture? Not a talent show, a cultural event. What would it mean to us?
- felt a tinsy bit sorry for myself that I was sitting alone at a cultural event that was absolutely packed. Seriously, for awhile, every seat in the auditorium was taken except for the chairs on each side of me. They were taken up later, yes, but this is a common thing, feeling like nobody wants to spend time with me. I don't know why I feel like it is such an issue, but it really does bother me.
- ate 2 desserts that are basically bread that is fried and soaked in syrup. then, didn't go for a run. ugh. hating myself.
- booked a plane ticket to Kerala and back for $80. nicely done, allyn.
- researched more field schools. I am going to kill this project in about 2.5 seconds. I've been researching summer archaeology field schools, because I thought that was my only option. I found out recently from a professor who was confused as to why I was doing excavation work when ethnographic work is more my style... and then filled me in that even though we had been emailing about field schools for like a month, I had a more pleasing option. Frustrated, yet glad. I might be an anth major, but I can't tell you how not excited I was to get out in the middle of Mexico in the summer and dig in the dirt for 7 hours a day. I'm already a naturally sweatyish person. I don't enjoy sweating that much unless I am dancing and I don't like being around uber sweaty people unless they are dancing too. Nevertheless, the idea of going anywhere is way exciting. Now it is just more exciting.
- read about Rukmini Devi
- sweated my skin off
- worried about the state of my skin. Not only does India not do anything for acne prone skin, it doesn't help to have severe 3rd degree sun burns and now my entire upper back and arms are shedding like a snake. I wash my face like 5 times a day, not kidding.
- drank chai
- zoned out to Pretty Lights
- watched the entire house convene on the house porch to light up when the power went out
- power went out twice tonight while skyping with eric.

Btw, keep him in your thoughts, whoever you are. He is leaving again for another cruise ship music stint and yesterday, his father was flown to a burn unit hospital for getting caught in a brush type fire. He is expected to recover quickish and just fine, but has had to have skin grafts and such from his face and other parts of his body moved to burn spots. Scary thing to 1. be wrapped up in gauze, in the hospital and 2. have to leave when this has happened to someone in your family.
Also, he just went through a breakup with someone he really cared for. Which, from experience, sucks incredibly.
So, think about him and send all the love in the universe his direction.

In other news, the Telangana movement is back on, and getting much more serious. Saturday was a serious bandh. There were roadblocks and tons of military out to stop a rally/march by Telangana supporters. It became more unfortunate when a young man from Osmania University set himself on fire in front of everyone. The police put him out and sent him to the hospital but he died yesterday (Sunday). This man was planning this for awhile. He was an orphan, and had a bag with him with certain paperwork and a suicide note.
Makes you wonder what goes through the mind when a decision like suicide is made definite. I have no idea how someone would get to that point. What is the next step? What is the next day? Is there still a to-do list, emails to write, class to attend, lunch to eat, performance to see? How quick is that decision? What do you do with your stuff? What is the last thing you make sure you say to people in person? Do you talk it through with someone? In this case, how does it feel when people perhaps support your suicide decision and tell you yes! commit suicide for this cause!...?

Saturday evening:
Some people here at the house had bdays but we didn't really know them so we didn't go to their party. We went salsa dancing. And had the best time. We had the hardest time trying to get people to go with us, but now everyone who rejected us want to go!
Found this website, Meetup, where groups form and meet and I found a salsa club, founded by (as listed in my phone) "Rishi Salsa" (he gave me his card - his profession? Promoter, haha isn't that bizarre?) that meets on Saturdays at the top of this high rise with clear windows out over the city and light up couches. We went, and danced with Indians that aren't afraid to touch you, and even a Norwegian, Sven, who has been in Hyderabad for a week on business.  He asked me if there is a salsa belt in the US like there is a Bible belt, haha. I told him no, but more in large cities. He asked me if I was a country girl and if I could drive a tractor and then told me he likes a girl who can be in charge.
ew much?
They all told us to come back.
We will. Who can pass up experiences like salsa in swanky rooftop with Norwegians that hit on you in India?

Anywho,
Because of the agitation, a trip we were supposed to take on Saturday, we took on Sunday.
We took a trip to the Qutb Shah Tombs and Golconda Fort.
Riane and I had been the to tombs for that super cool dance performance, but this time, we went in the day!

The tombs:

 

More marble hallways/stairwells. I love them.

 

  

 

Golconda Fort:

We had a guide here and he kept insisting we take pictures of certain things and also that we stand in certain places so he could take a picture for us. He must have known about my modeling in Indian mission.

We are like Christmas. 

 

Way To Up.

 Ok.

Up we went, 725 stairs. That is why I have blisters between my toes.

I had trouble getting up there at times, mainly because of the heat. The heat here is smothering. But right past us went women in saris and heels, and they were not even breaking a sweat. Our guide kept stopping in places where he knew we would get the best breeze. "Take the Breeze" is what he told us to do. So we did. We took the breeze, because we were gross sweaty Americans whose noses dripped when we looked down.

We had to walk, our guide told us, because we did not have, like the King/Queen used to have, people to carry us up the mountain. These people were impressive - they put short people in the front of the carry carriage and tall people in the back so when they went up stairs, the King didn't sit lopsided. That is the life.

It gets cooler - they made their entrance pretty impenetrable with a gate and first wall too close together that enemies couldn't get elephants back there to gather speed and knock down the gate. They also had a hot water and oil mixture pool to pour over the enemy head through a hole in the stone at the front. They also had a clapping portico where way at the bottom of the fort, a person could clap, and at the very top, people could hear it. Their version of a telephone system.

We saw a ritual. At the top of the fort was a Hindu temple devoted to Kali. They apparently had slaughtered a goat before we got there. they showed us the blood stains.

 

 

I'm supposed to be standing in front of a view of the Qutb Tombs in the back.

 

I learned the significance of the color orange, but it is a very long explanation. Basically, it is the strongest color to explain to world and its energy.

 

That person on the left is Abhishek. He is barreling down a staircase. He likes to run down them. Riane made a video because it really is very strange to see the largest Indian (he isn't large, just compared to other Indians) seriously running down a mountain. The best part was that it wasn't just him. At like the exact same moment he started down, our guide did it too!! So, all the way down 725 stairs, the two of them ran. People were looking over their shoulders only to move over to the edges as quickly as possible in fear of dying by being bowled over.

Riane and I inched our way down. The stairs were titled down, the direction we were going, which made the going a little tough.

Riane got in trouble.

Actually, I am standing in the opposite corner doing the same thing. Whispering, we could hear each other through the stone. Early telephone cups.

Oh. Hi perfect ending to a hot, fun day!

CCIC...

Because there is always a part II that everyone neglects to mention

As my philosophy teacher says, "There must be some vey, there must be some vey!! What is zat vey?"
His questions are always met with silence. He is asking us questions about the meaning of life, and in particular, about consciousness. It is his favorite topic.
"Vhat is consciousness? Vhere is it? Is it in this table? Can you feel it? How do you know it exists?"
But what he doesn't understand that as little as we understand our own individual mentalities, he is asking us to tell him what consciousness is and where it lies in Indian Philosophical terms, a mindset that we have just recently started studying, and will soon leave behind, by choice or not.

Tonight it is going to rain. I am looking for to it.

Today Riane found 3 puppies. I called Blue Cross, which is an animal rescue site in Hyderabad to help animals, house animals, etc. They must have their hands full here in India.
I don't ever want to hear Charleston Animal Shelter to talk about how many homeless animals they have up for adoption.
Today I petted a puppy so small, it fit in my palm, and it could barely open its eyes. We found it lolling around in a pile of trash. I probably have some disease, because it was missing fur, but I know that puppy was happier by my presence after just pat. He followed me, and licked water from my hand.
I had to leave him behind, because there isn't anything I can do. Everyone keeps telling me that.
It just can't be true. Who ever tells someone else that there isn't anything that you can do?

I wish I could save everything that suffers.

Hampi Part II

So.
I left off at bedtime, Saturday night.

Sunday morning, we wake up drenched in sweat like normal. The power, therefore the fan, always goes off for a certain amount in the middle of the night.
We had a weird night, all of us. We heard a few explosions and some other strange things.
We had planned this much anticipated trip at 4:30 in the morning up the 675 stairs of the monkey temple mountain to watch the sunrise.
Needless to say, 7:30 turned out to be a better time for all of us.

We went for breakfast at the ever popular Mango Tree Restaurant, where a huge mango tree grows in the middle of this restaurant. Strange, because it is the first mango tree we have seen in all of India.

 

  

Be jealous. Banana pancake with honey and fresh squeezed pineapple juice.

I'm jealous of my Hampi weekend self. It was such an amazing trip.

Turned out to be rickshaw day.

We went for all of the places that only exist in fairy tales, the stuff that your dreams of ancient civilizations and great empires consist of. 

It even turns out to made of magic - walking around in a banana tree field, Jessica and I found these ferns that close up when you touch them. It was by accident. She made a video. 

It was one of those sped up biology videos that explain the evolution process in high speed, where things change and develop - these plants are big and beautiful and open. And then by accident, you brush them, and they close up so tight, so quickly. It was amazing.

It was Avatar-ish.

On that note, I have to continuously remind myself, as strange as this seems, that this is not my world. 

Does that mean that sometimes it feels like I belong? Maybe, yes.

But  in reality, this is not my life and my culture, and I must treat it with respect and honor since I have the opportunity to explore and discover, like I do in my actual home, life, culture.

I watch other people throw trash on the ground, Indians even tell us to, but I can't. Even when I know that is where it will ultimately end up, I can't do it. 

This big world is mine, and yours. I have to listen to it, and treat it with the kindness it treats me. 

(It isn't all about trash. I know there is a lot of trash talk here, but I am silently referring to a great many things that I must leave the way it is.)

So, mindblowing botanical mysteries behind us, we left for actual temples and sites.

Here are some pictures (of the ones that exist):

So, what we were looking at is to the right of Benny, the Sister Stones, but they weren't as interesting as the actual terrain. Whole mountains were made of rocks just like those.

Isn't that bizarre?

We are standing in an underground temple. 

We probably have some sort of parasites. Totally worth it. 

So the building goes up and down, and we stepped over all kinds of things in the pitch black. 

Riane hit her head quite a few times. 

There were fish.

There was smooth stone that has been walked on for thousands and thousands of years, danced on, worshiped on, knelt on. 

This was a house for the holy, for the hopeful, for the needy. 

Like everything else in India, this is it. It doesn't apologize, it only intrigues.

We saw the Lotus Mahal:

 

and a big cow

baby tomatoes

rocks standing on their ends.

If my father had been there, he would have had a hey day placing rocks on their end to say, "I was here. Don't forget that I was here."

 

we found the Queen's pool, where she went swimming and got massages. Sounds like the life.

We also found Riane's raccoon eyes from getting tan with sunglasses on. Found those babies from across the pool.

See 'em?

Then I got Jessica to take a frumpy tourist picture of me in front of a temple we couldn't go in because of restoration efforts. I'm trying to get more pictures of me in these places.

I realize that these places don't mean anything to anybody else. The thing that mostly interests all of you is the fact that I am India, I think. Not all of these sites. I'm also tired of taking pictures of places. 

It has gotten to the point that we are all looking at our pictures and trying to remember exactly what it is a picture of. We take so many photos of buildings that they all blur together. We review them, thinking hey, that is a nice picture. What is it?

Thus begins my modeling career in India.

Keep in mind that I have been trekking across mountains and fields for 2 days now in the sweltering heat. I am tired. This isn't my best shot.

At a lot of the places we went, they had these free standing trees, just like in Lord of the Rings in the city of Gondor. 

So many cultures have nature, especially trees, in a representational position. 

This symbolizes something. I wish someone had told me what it was.

 

This tree, like all of the others, had white blooms at the top. I bet it is beautiful if the blossoms ever fall.

Jessica found a cow friend. I found a dog friend.

Then I found a naked child.

 

Then I found adorable Riane.

These men asked if we wanted some fish. I said I would take a picture of them.

The eyeballs were staring wide open up at us. Grosses me out.

I see, smell, feel so many things here, I'm glad it was so easy for me to revert to vegetarianism again.

Then we were on the road towards dinner in Hospet where afterwards, we would catch another agonizing bus ride home. The pictures truly did stop after this. 

My parting vision of Hampi before my beloved camera was lovingly settled in my Amazing Race bag.